Archive for February, 2014

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With the winter weather beating me into submission, I have decided to try to focus on the positive.  So here is a quick list of the underrated great things that can brighten up a day.

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Getting Straight Edge Shave At The Barber:  At the end of a haircut, my barber will get some warm shaving cream out of the machine and spread it around my neck.  Then he takes an old-school straight edge razor and shapes up the ol’ neckline.  This almost trumps the rest of the haircut combined.  I feel like I usually get this done at the Italian barbershops near me in Westchester.  Is this a country wide thing or just a local custom?  Also, I’m not sure if I should enjoy the action of a man putting warm shaving cream on me and shaving my neck as much as I do.

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Bagel Onion Surprise: I love eating a bagel and getting that random bit of onion inside.  It throws off the whole flavor for a minute, but it wakes me up and I enjoy it.  I will admit I hated it as a child, but I guess this is all part of growing up.  Maybe you aren’t a man until you enjoy that hint of onion.  I may even consider this a Rite of Passage.  A similar scenario to this is ordering regular french fries and getting a rogue curly fry with the rest of your regular fries.  Just something small to break up the monotony.

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Bag Fries:  Speaking of fries, having extra “bag fries” at the bottom of a fast food bag feels like found money every single time.  Maybe that’s why I love Five Guys so much.  They load up a tiny cup with fries and then load up the paper bag around the cup with fries as well.  Taking a good thing and making it great.  In related news, I am definitely having Five Guys for dinner tonight.  And maybe a bagel tomorrow morning.

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Dice With Buddies: Despite being a board game connoisseur, I never played Yahtzee growing up.  Dice With Buddies is to Yahtzee what Words With Friends is to Scrabble.  The best part about the app is that it is quick to play and requires minimal thinking.  That type of gameplay is golden this day and age.  If you are interested in trying it, check it out here.

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Messages app: I just purchased my first Mac and I am constantly learning new things about it.  One of those things is the Messages app.  Any message that is sent to my iPhone from an iOS device will pop up in this app and vice versa.  So I can basically use my computer to text my friends and family.  Not having to check your phone while your on the computer is strangely liberating and being able to write a long message without typing on a touch screen is much appreciated.

Break out your tiny violins everyone, I am going to formally complain about the weather.  It took two absurd electric bills, three deep freezes, and countless inches of shoveled snow but your pal Clem officially hates this winter with every inch of his being (and that’s a lot).  My car is constantly dirty, my house is filled with salt/sand from the street, and just leaving the house is a chore.  I am sick of seeing my breath and my nipples the minute I step outside.  To top it off, we now we have a winter storm named Titan heading towards us, which has to be the most badass storm name ever.  So long story short, screw you Old Man Winter and everyone living in warm climates.  When the hell is baseball season going to get here?

P.S.- Was the point of this blog just to put a picture of the Smarch calendar up?  I plead the fifth.

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P.P.S.- Did I add that P.S. just to sneak in a classic Chappelle line?  Yup.

Well it was only a matter of time until Johnny Football showed up at the FFCA Headquarters to talk shop with Jon Gruden.  Now we all know Chuckie has a reputation for loving everyone that he covers in football.  But you just KNOW that Gruden wishes he was Johnny Football.  A young stud who already has a Heisman, a ton of A&M/SEC/NCAA records, and countless co-ed pelts on his wall?  Once the cameras went off, I guarantee he cracked open a 12-pack and asked if he could smell Johnny’s fingers.  As long as Manziel does not end up on an NFC East team, he will be right at the top of my list of favorite players in the league off the bat.  And if by some chance an NFC East team does draft him?  I guess I will just have to sit in a dark room on Sundays in the Fall and Winter.  Obviously he will have to be on his best behavior until the draft and maybe until he is entrenched as a starter?  But once he becomes a successful QB in the NFL?  Watch out.  Do the damn thang, Johnny.

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On Monday, the WWE Network launched to the delight of millions of diehard wrestling fans.  I hung up my fanboy boots a long time ago, but I was still very excited to hear this news.  The reason?  I love nostalgia and having access to every wrestling Pay-Per-View was too much pass up.  Granted, I only signed up for the free 1-week trial but it was great to see some of my old favorites back in the ring.  Here are a few observations:

1.  The theme song for the Royal Rumble was fire flames.  When Vinny Mac would get on the mic and announce every name with such enthusiasm, you thought any Superstar had a chance to win (well, except for Bushwhacker Luke)

2.  Speaking of the Royal Rumble, the old VHS box art was sooo ahead of its time.  Sorry if I date myself, but going to the video rental store as a kid and seeing this stuff used to get me hyped.  Obviously all the big Superstars are present in these videos.  But seeing guys like Jake The Snake, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Mr. Perfect, Bobby The Brain Heenan, Haku, etc. was great as well.

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3. When I was a youngster, I was a Hulkamaniac.  I said my prayers and ate my vitamins.  I had the shirtthe wrestling buddy, and even dressed up as Hulk for halloween.  So obviously there are a ton of highlights from my youth to be seen on this network.  I have watched the big matches: Hogan/Andre, the Mega Powers Explode, etc.  But having access to the forgotten events was fantastic.  Seeing Hulk get his revenge against Earthquake after getting flattened on the Brother Love Show was incredible.  Watching This Tuesday In Texas and not being absolutely terrified of the Undertaker made me feel like a man.  And of course seeing my first crush, Ms. Elizabeth, in all her glory had my heart fluttering.

4. I am still not able to watch Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior.  I compare watching that match to watching the “Rickyyyyy” scene of Boyz N The Hood or any of the heartbreaking SPOILERIFIC scenes in Game of Thrones.  I will always have a deep dislike for The Ultimate Warrior.

5. And then of course we have the gems from the Attitude Era of the late 90s.  I’m not sure if wrestling was better in the early 90s or the late 90s, but it is definitely a discussion.  Re-watching the actual matches isn’t all that fun now, but seeing all of those crazy characters and storylines is real entertaining.  They are all there: Stone Cold slugging beers, The Rock acting like a jerk, Degeneration X being, well, degenerates.  If this DVD cover doesn’t fire you up for some WWE flashbacks, nothing will.

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6. Mick Foley was probably my favorite overall character during this time, so being able to see him try to end his life of the company’s dime brought back some lovely memories.

7. Starting up The Divas branch was a genius move.  Stacy Keibler will always be my number 1 in my heart, but I gotta give credit to the Original Gangsta, Sable.

8. I followed ECW a little bit when they first started, but here you have access to a bunch of their PPVs.  The stuff they did is just as crazy now as it was back then.

9. I hated WCW for my entire life, but I’m sure you can poke around and find some decent stuff in their archives.  But that is something I won’t be doing.  To each their own, I guess.

10. I didn’t really go into the content for the recent events since I am not a wrestling fan anymore and don’t see me becoming one ever again.  But I’m sure they have a ton of quality stuff for their fans.

I won’t keep the WWE Network after my free trial mostly because I don’t follow it anymore and after that first wave of nostalgia, I have no real use for it.  But damn, that was a fun trip down memory lane.  I definitely recommend the free week for anyone who was a fan back in the day.  Obviously for the current fans, it is clearly worth the money since the Pay-Per-Views are included with the network.

These days, all 30 For 30 films are must watch for sports fans.  They are thorough, well-done, and have some sort of interesting angle.  I am not going to lie though, this one hurts a little.  As someone who would be allowed to skip school for the day to catch the triple-header Big East Tournament games, I still haven’t come to grips that the NCAA has allowed conferences to be torn apart all in the name of the almighty dollar (AKA football).  Granted, I thought the sport has lost a lot of its appeal since the 90s, with teams lacking identities due to constant roster turnover.  But being a Syracuse fan during the heyday of the Big East was amazing.  Having to leave the Big East was hard enough, but having to go to the pretty boy ACC with the Dukes of the world?  Unbearable.    In fact, I want Syracuse to win more this year more than any other year simply because it will be the final nail in the Big East vs. ACC debate’s coffin. Anyway, this 30 For 30 should have so much nostalgia, you will have to brush it away from your face.  It will premiere on March 16th at 9 PM ET.

Here is a nice little video of the best Big East Tournament moments:

And for my Cuse brethren:

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The official trailer for the new Godzilla movie just came out and I am really torn on it.  The last attempt at a Godzilla movie was an absolute travesty.  It was a typical over-promoted 90s blockbuster with Matthew Broderick bopping around NYC and some lame attempt at a CGI Godzilla f’ing things up.  Godzilla was the only creature that laid more eggs in Madison Square Garden than James Dolan.  However, there are a few things that give me some hope for this iteration of that big freaking lizard.

  1. Bryan Cranston is in this movie.  This is his first big role since being the one who knocks.  It took years for him to get a role like Walter White, but he has always been a great actor.  So at least you know that the lead acting role is in good hands.
  2. Cloverfield was a pretty fun movie to watch despite the constant shaky camera.  So a giant lizard monster attacking New York City can clearly work.
  3. There are a few moments in the trailer that are terrifying.  The giant waves, the loud screech, the planes crashing, and the first time seeing Godzilla all are pretty intense.  It doesn’t seem like this is one of those “Hey, we acquired rights to make a Godzilla movie.  Now here is everything except for Godzilla” type of films.
  4. Based on the few glances we get of the monster, Godzilla actually looks like Godzilla.  It’s crazy to think that people could mess up the most important part of a Godzilla movie, but they did exactly that back in 1998.
  5. Based on the breakdown of the trailer, we will get a little backstory to it all.  Hopefully not too much, but enough to give everyone an idea why this gigantic SOB is crushing NYC like Daz and Kurupt.

So all things considered, I am going to take a wait and see approach with this movie.  I will check out the Rotten Tomatoes reviews once they start rolling in around May, but as of now I am leaning towards seeing it in the theater.

  1. So we start off with Arya calling out names of the people she is planning to kill.  Definitely the best Stark still breathing.  I hope she becomes the female version of John McClane.  The scrappy underdog who just eliminates bad guys.
  2. Speaking of Starks still breathing, it is mind boggling  that Sansa hasn’t gone full blown emo after the last 2+ years of her life.  She is just constantly getting crapped on.  If there was a Hot Topic in Westeros, she would be shopping there.  And for the record, I have no idea if Hot Topics are even around anymore.
  3. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I was nervous that Jon Snow’s story was going to suck again.  However, if he gets fired up and plans to avenge Ned/Catelin/Robb, his story will be amazing.  The dude is rescuing people from volcanoes in Pompeii, killing wildlings north of The Wall, and breaking hearts of beautiful women.  Rescuing, killing, and heartbreaking.  That’s what Jon Snow does!
  4. I don’t like Joffrey but I gotta say the character is just so much fun to hate.  He has no redeeming qualities at all, so you can truly hate everything about him.  Joffrey is clearly the Duke Blue Devils of Westeros.
  5. Again, Tyrion seems to be a in a real bind during these previews.  I hope everything breaks alright for him, but I’m guessing his boo may end up dead.  Shae is definitely one of my favorite people in King’s Landing.  That chick isn’t afraid to slice people up.
  6. I forgot about how Littlefinger is going to react to his crush getting backstabbed (and neck slit).  While he isn’t dangerous in a physical sense, he can definitely hurt you in quiet ways by being a weasel.  No one messes with Tommy Carcetti.
  7. I don’t know who Stannis and Melissandre are burning at the stake.  It seems like it could be his wife, but Game of Thrones isn’t above killing kids (like his daughter).  Stannis is a cold-blooded killer.
  8. There are about 20 frames of just mayhem that cannot be deciphered.  I am sure it will all be awesome.  I think the people who make these videos can edit a video of me walking around my house and make it seem interesting and intense.
  9. Another preview, another glimpse of Dany not is Westeros.  She seems to be developing a nice little ego however.  It should make her story a little more complex, even if it makes her potentially less likable.
  10. I am so bored with the White Walkers right now.  We need them to start doing stuff or just forget about them until they come.  I’m sure they are going to be killing machines once they start encountering people, but until then stop teasing us.  I also hope somehow they bring back previous characters that have been killed in White Walker form.  I don’t know if that is even possible, but it would be awesome.  White Walker versions of Catelyn, Renly, and Lady (Sansa’s dog) would be epic.  Weird and sad, but epic as well.