With March Madness upon us, we have a little bit of competition in the bracket game. However, I have unveiled a pretty good field of fighters for this week, as we have a Cereal Character Deathamatch on our hands. Some of the regions are a little wacky, but you need to suspend belief a little when it comes to this game. Here are the contenders.
Editor’s Note: Many people will notice Tony The Tiger is not in this bracket. This was done on purpose, since a giant tiger with the mind of a human would be basically impossible to beat. Don’t worry, Tony will be in a future tournament against competition more suited to his weight class/abilities. I would love to see another Editor’s Note that is even close to being this ridiculous.
- Each matchup is a fight to the death.
- Competitors are allowed to bring any item that is generally associated with them. Example: Batman would have all his gadgets, Link would have his sword, Indiana Jones would have a whip, etc. The items the fighters have will be noted in the blog.
- Each region has a different location chosen at random. That location can possibly affect the outcome of the match. Example: If a shark was placed in a desert, it would have a hard time beating anything in a deathmatch.
- Seeding and opening matchups are drawn at random.
- Voting takes place from time the blog is posted until midnight ET that night.
- Once a character wins a match, he/she can use whatever items their opponent used in future matches.
- Tiebreaker goes to a coin flip.
- If you have any theories on how you think the results of a match would go, please add them in the comments section. Bantering is half the fun.
Trix Rabbit vs. Cocoa Krispies Monkey
Tale of the Tape: In the first matchup of the All-Animal region, we have the Trix Rabbit going up against the Cocoa Krispies Monkey. It looks like the rabbit actually has the reach advantage, while the monkey has some muscle mass on him. They are fighting in a pool of milk, so I’m not sure how that will figure into anything. Can the rabbit take years of torment by young children and turn it into anger for this fight? We shall see.
Sugar Bear vs. Dig’em Frog
Tale of the Tape: Two animals that peddle the same basic cereal match up in a big ol’ pool of milk. The bear is clearly a bigger, more vicious creature while the frog knows what he’s doing in a pool of liquid. Sugar Bear is one laid back cool mofo, while the Dig’em Frog is all over the damn place.
Sonny The Cuckoo Bird vs. Honey Bee
Tale of the Tape: Sonny The Cuckoo bird in all his cracked out glory is matched up with the Honey Bee. Even though they do not make cereal, this region is at the Keebler Elves Tree, which is fitting since everyone in this region can fly.
Toucan Sam vs. Cornelius The Corn Flakes Rooster
Tale of the Tape: Two birds square off in this showdown, one with an English accent and the other with a legit set of pipes. Toucan may have more in the brains deparment, but never underestimate the fight in a rooster.
Count Chocula vs. Lucky The Leprechaun
Tale of the Tape: The Dracula of Sugar Cereals takes on Lucky The Leprachaun on St. Patrick’s Day. Both have some sort of crazy voodoo black magic at their disposal, and they face off at the old Cardboard Box Factory from The Simpsons.
Frankenberry vs. The Raisin Bran Sun
Tale of the Tape: A gigantic, undead monster vs. a sun with two scoops. This is more than likely the weirdest matchup we have had yet, and that is saying something. I have no clue who wins this one.
Cap’n Crunch vs. Snap, Crackle, and Pop
Tale of the Tape: One regular sized ship Captain against three small, but feisty little SOBs. At first I thought the Cap’n had an easy road here, but the look those three are giving in the picture above is downright scary. The fight takes place in an every-day diner.
Wendell vs. The Cookie Crunch Robber
Tale of the Tape: A happy go lucky chef vs. a down on his luck criminal. Wendell has the size and reach advantage, while the robber is clearly more a scrapper.Follow @TheClemReport