MTV The Challenge: Free Agents Episode 2 Summary

Posted: April 18, 2014 in MTV The Challenge, TV
Tags: , , , ,

faaaaa

Our maniac friends are back for another episode of The Challenge: Free Agents, “Love in the Fast Lane”.  A few thoughts and observations from last night.

  • An Emilee vs. Jessica fight would have been incredible since they are both underratedly crazy.  And I mean crazy in the “takes medication to fight away the voices” type of crazy.
  • For people who didn’t watch Real World: Portland, Jessica is the most annoying person on Earth.  They haven’t completely fleshed this out yet, but trust me she will grate on you the longer she is on the show.  Add in the fact that she would take guys back to her house and not allow them into her bed is all you need to know about her.  Granted, if she was my daughter, I would be so proud.  But still, that is just WRONG.

  • It only took two episodes for all the girls in the house to dress like whores at a costume party.  Jasmine dressing/acting like a legit school girl stripper clearly won the slutty costume contest, which in this house may be harder to do than winning the actual game.
  • Solid move by Dustin and Jessica to sneak away to get some smooches in.  However, don’t think you can sneak some lovin’ past the MTV cameras.  I love how the camera men just go into stealth mode to get their footage.  Add in the hidden cameras they apparently use now, and nowhere is safe.  And once the alcohol is running through everyones veins, no one cares anyway.
  • Dustin goes to The Challenge after promising his ex that he won’t hook up with anyone.  By the end of the first week or so, he is juggling Emilee and Jessica.  Just hilarious.
  • One part of the show I do not understand at all is the drafting of teams.  Like last week, people like Leroy and Zach were not drafted until the middle rounds.  Unless the challenge is a reading competition, your first picks should be Bananas, CT, Frank, Leroy, and Zach in some order.  And if you don’t choose Laurel as the first pick as a girl, you are straight up high.  There has to be something else going on behind the scenes, because anyone who has watched one Challenge episode would know that.
  • I don’t know how to drive stick and consider it a real strike on my manhood.  That being said, it is something I have no interest in learning.  It would be like learning how to develop pictures in a dark room.  Why would I do that when I can pay a little more to have a machine do that for me?

  • This line about Preston absolutely slayed me.  “Annnnd, he’s Preston”.  Laugh out loud funny kind of stuff there.
  • Theresa once said she was the best looking girl in the house a few seasons ago.  That was never the case, but seems to get funnier as the years go by.  However we learned last episdoe that she is definitely a better basketball player than Raymond Felton.

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  • I think I am in love with the flag girl from last night.  Great work on that, producers.
  • Also, putting name of each girl competitor on the ass of their shorts was a sneaky perv move.  Kudos, MTV.
  • There are not a lot of things I cherish in this world more than seeing this group of misfits out at a bar.  You know you are going to get some heavy petting and at least one epic fight by the end of the episode.  And once that music starts getting intense, you know you creep to the front of your couch.  Because shit is about TO GO DOWN.
  • Cohutta bagging Kelly Anne during his season on the Real World followed up by potential landing Nany is some Derek Jeter shit.  Both are Top 10 chicks in Real World history, in my opinion.  And he is just a good old fashioned great guy.  You give us all hope in life, Cohutta.
  • Let me say if Laurel ever was interested in hooking up with me, I would be flat out intimated.  She is the alpha all the way and the man who tames her should receive a statue in his honor.
  • $750 for 20+ people’s drinks for the night?  Doesn’t seem that steep to me.  I would probably pay CT’s tab, since he intimidates me only slightly less than Laurel does.
  • Even though it was short-lived, we caught a glimpse of what could become an amazing rivalry if a man gets between them.  Nany vs. Camilla has a ton of latina fury potential.  And oh yeah, they both can be pretty damn sexy when they want to be.  I think Camilla has the clear physical/crazy edge in the matchup, but Nany does not back down easily.  This is a girl who kept going back to Adam King despite the fact he was probably the worst human in the history of this show (which is saying something).  If by some chance a cast member ever reads this blog, please make this fight go down in the future.  America needs this.
  • Based on Emilee’s running skills, I knew she did not have a chance in hell to beat Jonna.  From what I gather from watching old Challenges, Jonna is a pseudo-homeless person that relies on these TV shows and the kindness of dudes who are banging her for the roof that is over her head on a nightly basis.  You have to basically kill her in order to eliminate her.
  • Since I have Frank in my fantasy league, I was scared of him going up against someone like Dustin in the elimination round.  Then I remembered that Dustin is the new age Dunbar, in that he seems athletic based on the way he looks, and then you realize he sucks and will never win anything.  Plus they both were in pornos.  Something to store away for next year’s fantasy draft, everyone.  You’re welcome.

  • I wish I had TJ Lavin around whenever I tried hard to do something but failed. Lost the fantasy football championship?  Heck of a run bro, keep your head up.  Pretty girl dumped you?  It’s alright man, you gave it your all.  Letting down TJ is like letting down your mom and dad.  Their disappointment is 100 times worse than anything they can do to you.

jonny-moseley-american-ninja-warrior-nbc-325

  • Finally, if the MTV producers were hoping to get an after-show host that everyone wants to punch in the face, great hire with Johnny Moseley.  I don’t know if I can watch the after-shows if this guy is going to be the host.  He is the worrrrrst.

Anyway, that is my first recap of the season for MTV The Challenge: Free Agents.  What were your thoughts on the episode?  Is there anything you would like me to add to these recaps?  Anything I should remove?  Let me know in the comments.

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