The Pirate Stock Exchange. Nuff Said

Posted: May 30, 2014 in Random Thoughts, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,


Wall Street Journal- Pirates are on a hot streak this season. World-wide, the first quarter of 2011 saw 142 recorded attacks, up from 67 in that time last year. Off the coast of Somalia there were 97, as against 35 last year. Why? Despite some efforts by Western powers to patrol the Horn of Africa, pirates are still able to access capital, as any successful business must. The world’s first pirate stock exchange was established in 2009 in Harardheere, some 250 miles northeast of Mogadishu, Somalia. Open 24 hours a day, the exchange allows investors to profit from ransoms collected on the high seas, which can approach $10 million for successful attacks against Western commercial vessels. While there are no credible statistics available, reports from various news sources suggest that over 70 entities are listed on the Harardheere exchange. When a pirate operation is successful, it pays investors a share of the profits. According to a former pirate who spoke to Reuters, “The shares are open to all and everybody can take part, whether personally at sea or on land by providing cash, weapons or useful materials. . . . We’ve made piracy a community activity.”

I just came across this article last week, but apparently it is from 2011.  I don’t know how in the hell I missed this, but better late than never.  Where is the joy in investing in a business on the stock market and just seeing numbers go up and down?  Buying stock in pirates is where it’s at.  I bet the movie Captain Phillips probably scared off a lot of investors, so this is the time to get in the game.  Software piracy?  Child’s play.  Give me the old school stuff. PS- After I make my first million, I am buying a diamond encrusted eye-patch that is identical to this one.  Hell, I may become a Raiders fan once it’s all said and done.


PPS- This Sportscenter commercial is further proof Pirates is back.  Camera don’t lie.

  1. Jeff Picca says:

    Let’s face it.. We’re too lazy for this. You probably have to go to Somalia to invest and who really wants to do that? You need like 32 vaccinations.. Suddenly ameritrade is looking like the way to go again.

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