Petition To Rename The DC Airport After Time Howard Started By Fans. What Would They Do If We Won The Game Or Whole Tournament?

Posted: July 2, 2014 in Deathmatch Tournament, Uncategorized, World Cup
Tags: , , , ,


Los Angeles Times- Tim Howard may very well be the most popular man in America at this moment. So much so, an official White House petition was started Tuesday night to rename the Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport after Howard — seriously.

Although the U.S. men’s national soccer team was defeated by Belgium 2- 1 in the knockout round Tuesday afternoon, goalie Tim Howard emerged a national icon for his amazing work between the posts.

Fans created a petition on the White House website asking that  Reagan Airport be renamed after Howard.  “We politely request that we rename the airport to recognize his accomplishments, and meritorious service to the United States of America,” the petition states.

Anyone can post a petition on the “We the People” site, launched by the White House. If a petition gets 100,000 signatures, the administration will respond.

Listen, I love my country and had as much fun watching the US play in the World Cup as the next guy, but this petition is EXTREME.  Granted, setting the record for most saves ever in a World Cup game while also playing well in the Group Stage is worthy of some incredible memes.  But I think it ends there.

After using my old trusty Google machine, it looks like there is nothing named after James Craig.  You know, the goalie of the USA Miracle On Ice hockey team AKA the greatest underdog story in the history of sports at a time when our country REALLY needed something to get behind.  And in a sport that had a big following in the US before the tournament?

So it got me thinking, what would these people be looking to do if we had actually WON the Belgium game?  Or did better than 1-1-1 in Group play?  Or *gasp* won the whole damn tournament?  A few guesses below.

USA goes undefeated in Group Of Death.  Still lose first game of Knockout round:  Tim Howard gets the key to the country?  Does it exist?  I don’t know.  Neither does anyone else.  But Barry takes care of business for athletes down there in DC, and this would be no exception.

Howard Meter Of Awesomeness: Howard The Duck


USA wins Belgium game, loses to Argentina: Rename the state of Delaware to Howardware.  Nobody notices.

Howard Meter Of Awesomeness: Howard Johnson


USA beats Argentina, lose next round:  Most traveled bridge in the world, George Washington Bridge, is renamed the Tim Howard Bridge.  The bridge is remodeled to have hands made of pillows catch any would-be suicide attempts.

Howard Meter Of Awesomeness: Howard (Howie) Long


USA loses in World Cup final: The symbol of America to all foreginers, McDonald’s, is renamed to Tim Howard’s. Tim Horton’s is taken over and destroyed by the US to avoid any potential confusion.

Howard Meter Of Awesomeness: Howard Hughes


USA wins the World Cup: Rename country to The United Tim of Howard.

Howard Meter Of Awesomeness: Howard Stern



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