Idiot Couple Decides To Change Their Middle Names To Seamonster

Posted: August 2, 2014 in Crazy News
Tags: , , , , , ,

death-of-a-sea-monster1

People- There’s a lot of unusual names out there – consider “Apple,” “Blue Ivy” and “Moon Unit” (Frank Zappa’s daughter), all of which are pretty tame choices compared to that of a Massachusetts couple, who petitioned to change their middle names to “Seamonster.”

The reasoning behind the “monstrous” name is anyone’s guess, since the couple are remaining private about their decision – they declined an interview on the name change after it started getting some attention.

“Thank you, but despite our crazy/flashy new middle names, my husband and I are pretty private,” the wife, Melanie Convery (or Melanie Seamonster Convery), Tweeted in response to MassLive.

Another Tweet posted by Convery humorously points out that she and her husband, Neal Seamonster Coughlin, were not expecting people to notice their legal petition, which was published in The Holyoke Sun on Friday. 

These people are assholes, plain and simple.  You don’t pull a move like this unless you want the attention.  Now, maybe they didn’t want the news to go viral and go up on big time sites like People and The Clem Report.  But you don’t get to pick what goes viral, the internet does.  Just the way it works, Toots.

As for the actual name, there better be a damn good story behind settling on “seamonster”.  There are a billion words I would rather have as a middle name over seamonster.  Here is a quick list of 20 off the top of my head: poncho, onomatopoeia, kryptonite, Samuel L. Jackson, brontosaurus, equator, magma, battleship, digital, hypotenuse, platypus, cranky, invisible, stardust, magazine, papaya, The Hungry Caterpillar, Shel Silverstein, butter, and land monster.  Boom, 20 without breaking a sweat.

PS- To be completely honest, 85% of the reason I blogged this story was to put up the seamonster scene from The Office.  R.I.P. Patrice O’Neal

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