Jesus Montero Commits The Ultimate Fat Person Crime, Throws Ice Cream Sandwich At A Baseball Scout

Posted: August 29, 2014 in Baseball, Sports
Tags: , , , , , ,

San Diego Padres v Seattle Mariners

NYPost- Now this is some kind of meltdown. One-time Yankees stud farmhand Jesus Montero, whose weight has ballooned since a trade to the Seattle Mariners even as his prospect status has deflated, lost his cool Thursday night and confronted a scout (from his own team!) with a bat — all over an ice cream sandwich.

The incident occurred in Boise, where Montero was on an injury rehab assignment with the Single-A Everett AquaSox. The bizarrely antagonistic scout apparently razzed Montero throughout the game then sent the dairy taunt to him in dugout — guess the vanilla insults weren’t working. According to milb.com, Montero approached the stands wielding a bat and threw the dessert while screaming profanities before he was restrained. 

Man I hate the living shit out of Jesus Montero.  First I had to hear Yankees fans tell me Montero was going to be better than Mike Piazza.  Then he got shipped out to Seattle for Michael Pineda and promptly gained 1,000 pounds.  I wanted Montero to become the next Jay Buhner AKA the player Yankees fans bellyached about years after the trade.

And then Jesus went ahead and pulled the ultimate food sin.  No matter what someone says to you, you do NOT throw an ice cream sandwich at them.  It is the king of the ice cream novelty kingdom (Choco Taco is the crown prince though, don’t get it twisted).  Doing something ignorant as that defines the phrase “wasting your food”.  I hope all the bad things in life happen to Montero and nobody else but Montero.

george-bluth-love-affair-ice-cream-sandwich-arrested-development

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