Archive for August, 2014


WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!   You know how you dream of what you would spend your money on if you won the lottery?  I am currently doing that with unlimited Taco Bell.  Do I start with a Quesarito?  You don’t know how much longer they will be around for. Or perhaps I hammer down 5 different Doritos Locos tacos and just black out from all the different flavors.  But if we are being honest, I would pull a baller move like my buddy OG once did and order the left side of the menu.  I think that’s numbers 1-6 of the Drive Thru menu.  And it would lead to the greatest live tweet or live blog of my life.

Actually now that I think about it, my first stop would be Costco.  Load up on Charmin Extra Quilted and never look back.  Sometimes you gotta think outside the bun.  Time to go break all my big bills down and ask for nothing but singles.  Next stop, South of the Border.

This dad is doing God’s work.  Sure the words “selfie” and “twerking” have brought many great memories to all of our lives.  But hearing grandparents talk about “that selfie story on the news” and “Miley is twerking again” is too much for one man to take.

We need to shame these selfie taking assholes to kill the word from the lexicon.  Smokeshows are going to continue to take pictures of themselves to sustain their fantasy life “careers”.  But we need to stop the stupid face selfies from getting taken ASAP.  Your move, America.  Operation Selfie Shaming begins now.

PS- If this is another god damn Jimmy Kimmel prank, I knew it all along.  Nice try, pretty boy.

PSS- Take another look at this moronathon


h/t Cullen

I have to say, Trey makes some pretty good points in this video.  This lady obviously just had two babies, you are clearly going to love this new baby more than the existing babies, and the sound of boys crying is clearly worse than girls.  Simple science, mom.  Read a book, won’t ya?

And don’t try to use Amaya as a witness for your case.  That chick doesn’t even understand the English language.  And oh yeah.  SHE HAS A GOD DAMN BINKY IN HER MOUTH!




Buffalo Bills


Over/Under Win Total: 6.5

Odds to win division: 9/1 (more…)


I hate J.Lo.  Like hate, hate, hate J.Lo.  The hate in my heart for her would make Clayton Bigsby blush.  But having the OG of booty team with Child Bearing Hips Mcgee is at the very least intriguing.  It would be like seeing Washington Wizards MJ face rookie season LeBron.  One is at the absolute end of her reign on top while the other is just getting started.

Now before you say “Clem, what about Nicki Minaj?  She needs to be in this video.”  My answer to that is Nicki Minaj scares me more than Gia from Full House.  If you think I have the gumption to watch a video with her and these two, you don’t know what type of white boy you are talking to.

Anyway, this will be one of the five music videos I actually see until the 2015 VMAs.  Sure hope it is decent.

PS- The best JLo music video of all-time (musically and booty-wise) is the I’m Real (Remix) video.  There will be no debating this.  Those pink shorts caused a ton of funny feelings in stomachs across this great country of ours.

Nothing like representing a franchise that peaked in the 80s, with a haircut that was “in style” in the mid-90s, with a TV show that hasn’t been good since the early 2000s, and a player that may never be better than he was in 2012.  This entire picture is the epitome of Buy Low.  Yikes.

Oh yeah, and this is where I say that the Redskins nickname is 100% offensive and a hilarious joke that people try to defend it because of “tradition”.  Thank God I am a Giants fan.



Food Beast-  Cats are the animal equivalent of grumpy teens working summer jobs — disinterested, lethargic, perpetually annoyed. Just ask Tencho, Hime, Dora, and Detch, the four newest cat employees for Pizza Hut Japan.

Part of the brand’s newest video campaign, Pizza Cat! is a completely fictional Pizza Hut location “run” entirely by cats. Run used only loosely of course, since the cat’s don’t ever really work. Instead, they sleep through alarms, stare at ringing telephones, claw at delivery bikes, and literally ride roombas all around the store.

Along with a video series highlighting the cats’ daily shenanigans, Pizza Cat! also got its own nifty website detailing the cats even further. There’s even a little disclaimer stating that if your pizza doesn’t arrive, it’s simply because the cats lost their motivation, please excuse them.

Another day, another bunch of wacky Asian commercials.  I am done trying to crack the code of why Japanese people love strange stuff and instead just bask on the glory of their weirdness.  At least if it was a funny commercial I could get behind it.  Maybe there is LSD in the drinking water.  Or years of eating uncooked fish.  I don’t know why they do what they do.  But I know that I freaking love it.

h/t Ballow