God damn it I love Harrison Gomes. Anyone who knows that the A’s clinched the division on 9/23/03 is a fucking diehard in my book. I don’t care if someone told him that or he looked it up. I guarantee H-Geezy (that’s my nickname for him) will have that date tattooed across his stomach like the 2Pac Thug Life tattoo. The only thing I know about my birthday is that Biggie and Mr. T were born on the same day. Does that make me better person than Harrison? Yes. But does it make me a better baseball fan? Hell no.
I bet little H.G. also hates the living shit out of the Rally Monkey and Mike Trout. Both drive him up the wall. And the line “I would really like to stick it to the Angel fans at school” shows he has that deep hatred in his veins that usually doesn’t develop until a boy’s teenage years. He definitely cannot wait to escape snoozetown suburban Anaheim and get his ass to the black hole of Oakland ASAP.
Well yesterday was 9/23 and last night was the game Harrison wrote about. The A’s lost 2-0. They didn’t play extra hard. He can’t stick it to the Angels fans. And Stephen Vogt basically spit in his face. Worst birthday ever. I hope he writes his next letter to Billy Beane using blood, a la Sideshow Bob.
You don’t completely ruin an 11 year-old kids birthday just because you are in the middle of an epic collapse. Have some pride, Oakland. Be better. Especially you, Stephen Vogt (who, for the record, I do NOT believe in anymore).Follow @TheClemReport