Archive for November, 2014

 

 

When your team starts the season 4-11 and their best player is already injured, you have to get excited about anything that will make you remotely happy.  So I am going to get psyched about the Greek Streak pinning people against the backboard like Leon did during his imaginary games in Above The Rim.  Do I wish that my team was competing for an Eastern Conference title like the Raptors or the #1 pick like the Sixers?  Sure.  But when life hands you lemons as a Knicks fan, you are just grateful that Isiah Thomas isn’t here to tell you that they are strawberries.

Sure the Greek Streak is raw as hell, but an athletic block is more exciting than almost any play on the court that isn’t a dunk.  I almost had more fun watching those YouTube highlights than I have had watching the Knicks all season.  Whenever Phil is done purging the roster of hot garbage,  Antetokounmpo needs to get a call up to The Association.  The guy hustles, plays with an infectious energy, and will immediately be a crowd favorite at The Garden.  Plus I will 100% be talking myself into The Greek Freak signing with the Knicks in a few years just because his brother plays here.  That’s what being a Knicks fan is all about now.  Looking forward to next year’s draft (when we actually have a 1st round pick) and convincing yourself that the best free agents will want to play in a big, cold city with an income tax and a volume shooting superstar.  #Knickstape, baby!

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Even though I am a junk food connoisseur, sometimes legendary foods can fly under even my radar.  Boulder Canyon Natural Foods recently released Thanksgiving flavored kettle cooked potato chips and I was none the wiser.  Luckily Sean from The Sean And Bo Show was kind enough to tip me off about these glorious flavors and sent me bags of each flavor.  As you guys know, I have gone on the Sean And Bo Show a couple of times to talk about sports and the such.  They are definitely worth a listen if you want to get a funny take about what is going on in the sports world.  Check out their podcast over the Thanksgiving break by clicking here.

Anyway, I am going to review these chips as I have done with all my other reviews.  You will see that I am wearing a Barry Sanders jersey, as is my Thanksgiving tradition.  In related news, if you don’t wear a Barry Sanders Lions jersey on Thanksgiving, you are a communist.  Anyway, on to the reviews, you communist bastard.

Cranberry

Rating:  6.2/10.  In full disclosure, I do not like cranberries.  I don’t like them as a berry, as a sauce, or as a juice (what are you, on your period?).  Anyway, the chips didn’t really have a strong cranberry taste.  Just kind of a subtle, sweet flavor.  However, the band The Cranberries are incredible.  I wanted to go with “Zombie” for this review, but that seemed more Halloween-ish than Thanksgiving-ish.  “Dreams” is my 2nd favorite Cranberries song, but I didn’t think it had enough appeal.  Okay, I’m rambling.

 

Stuffing

Rating:  9.2/10.  A quick rant here.  Stuffing is the best side dish on Thanksgiving.  Mashed potatoes are great, but that’s more of an all-year-round side.  Yams, corn, sweet potatoes, etc. cannot even DREAM of being on the same level as stuffing.  <End of rant>.  They nailed the multifaceted taste of stuffing in these chips and I am now fiending the living daylights for homemade stuffing.  Fantastic work, Boulder Canyon.

 

Turkey & Gravy

Rating:  8.4/10.  Turkey and gravy is like the quarterback and head coach for an NFL team.  If they are bad, your team/meal cannot be anything better than average.  But if they are good-to-great, all the other pieces fall into place perfectly.  This chip flavor falls in the good range.

Pumpkin Pie

Rating:  6.7/10.  <Rant #2>  I dislike pumpkin flavored items.  If pumpkins tasted so good, we would eat pumpkins.  We wouldn’t process it and load it up with sugar/seasoning/etc.  This latest pumpkin trend is out of control.  It is a disgrace to America that apple is not the official and unofficial flavor of fall <End of rant #2>.  Anyway, this “pumpkin” pie chip was pretty good.  Better than the cranberry chip, but still pretty weak.  To this day, I will ask for a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, eat the whipped cream, and throw the piece of pie away untouched.  I have that much disrespect for pumpkin flavoring.

Again, I’d like to thank the Sean And Bo Show for sending along these tasty treats.  Make sure to follow them on Twitter by clicking the button below.

 

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Rating: 7.2/10.  You can kinda taste the nacho cheese flavor, but you still need more.  The Doritos Locos Tacos at Taco Bell give you plenty of flavor but also loads your fingers up with cheese dust.  The Old El Paso taco shells don’t mess up your fingers, but they just aren’t cheesy enough.  When you add in that these shells taste like Bravos (AKA welfare Doritos), I had to give them a barely passing grade.  

However, these shells and Old El Paso in general gets extra credit for inventing the Stand ‘n Stuff Shells a few years ago.  We put a man on the moon before we had taco shells that were (relatively) easy to fill.  That being said, the shells need to be wider so they don’t break.  I had 4 broken shells when I opened the package.  An uttah, uttah disgrace (Mike Francesa voice).  Long story short, the king (Doritos Locos Tacos) stay the king.  

Would I spend a couple extra pennies to get the cheese shells?  Yes.  They aren’t great, but they are better than plain corn shells.

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Two weeks ago, the Mets announced their promotional schedule for the 2015 season.  As I did in 2014, I broke down the best promotions of the schedule.  This may be the first Mets season in a long time where the product on the field is better than the products given out for free off the field.  On to the rankings:

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From Beckham’s Wikipedia page:

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In case you live under a rock, and that rock blocks all cellular/WiFi signals, Odell Beckham Jr. made the 2nd best catch in NFL (and oddly enough New York Giants) history.  People will forget who won a Week 12 game between the Giants and the Cowboys.  But no one will ever forget that catch.  So in my mind, the Giants won the game.  Better luck next time, Cowgirls.

Anyway, Twitter and reddit did what they usually do, create funny content.  Here are the 13 (that’s his number and everything!) best Odell Beckham tweets/Photoshops that I saw last night:

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I can’t lie, the marketing department at Skittles suckered me in with their Darkside flavors.  If you want to be a bad boy, you have to eat Darkside Skittles.  There is just no two ways about it.  Anyway, here are the flavor reviews:

Pomegranate

Rating: 3.8/10.  If Skittles came out with cough medicine, this flavor would fit right in.  But alas, it doesn’t.  Also, I hate how everyone says they love pomegranate just because it is a trendy fruit.  If Pomegranate was always grown in the good ol’ US of A instead of “exotic” China, we wouldn’t even feed it to our pets.  Just a terrible fruit.

Midnight Lime

Rating: 7.8/10.  Lime isn’t the best flavor in the world, but it beats the hell out of green apple.  When lime was in the package, you could eat a few Skittles at once and have a nice medley of flavors.  Now if you do that, you have green apple dominate your taste buds.  Going from lime to green apple is like when the Bills went from Doug Flutie to Rob Johnson.  Johnson was the bigger name, but Flutie was the scrapper that made everything somehow work.

Dark Berry

Rating: 6.2/10.  Meh as meh can be.  

Blood Orange

Rating: 8.4/10.  Did Skittles take regular orange and just dye it to be a little red?  Probably.  Can my small brain figure out that this is all a marketing ploy?  Probably not.

Forbidden Fruit

Rating: 7.2/10.  If something is forbidden, it should be incredible.  We all know what the forbidden fruit was in the Garden of Eden.  This was not as good as that forbidden fruit.  

Overall Pack Rating: 6.7/10.  Basically crap.  Back to the drawing board, John Skittles (who Skittles are named after)*.

*Not true (probably) 

Not really much to add to this.  There are so many great, random ads from movies.  The Truman Show ad was an especially nice touch.  Such an underrated movie.

With the cold weather setting in, I plan on getting REAL comfortable with my Netflix over the next few months.  Like uncomfortably close.  Like call the cops because this sick bastard is way too close for me kind of close.  Okay I will stop talking now.

God bless the internet.

h/t Ballow for the link

Busy day in the Casa de Clem today.  First I find my favorite gif of all-time, and then this tweet walks into my life.  Nothing like a rudimentary drawing of the Jets and Eagles average or worse quarterbacks to kick off Week 10.

But seriously, that is a pretty hilarious/mind-blowing graphic.  Time is indeed a flat circle.

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Stopping two crazy chicks from knocking you out with a chair by using only your left hand is INCREDIBLE.  This was the perfect metaphor for the 2014 World Series.  Those women are the Kansas City Royals and the guy is Madison Bumgarner.  Lights out like Shawne Merriman.

This afternoon, Michael Kay decided to get his pea shootah out and take shots at the New York radio throne by chirping about Mike Francesa.  Kay said Francesa questioned his integrity by mentioning that the YES Network changed from Francesa to Kay because the network wanted creative control of the show.   (more…)