Archive for November, 2014


Sure the Gold Glove is a relatively meaningless award that is somehow occasionally determined by how popular/offensively talented a player is.  But as a Mets fan, any type of good news is GREAT news.  While I may hate the late 90s-early 2000s Yankees for ruining my childhood, I have to respect how they built their team.  They built it up the middle, with a catcher, shortstop, and centerfielder to help anchor their pitching staff.  You can usually find decent players on the corners via trade or free agency.  But most teams do not let up-the-middle talent walk away (insert Jose Reyes picture here).

I think/hope that the Mets have found their centerfielder and catcher for the next 10 years or so.  Both Lagares and Travis d’Arnaud looked like Major League players last season and showed a knack for hitting in the clutch.  The long-term outlook for the middle infield positions are still huge question marks, but money or trade assets will likely (hopefully?) be used to fix that problem.  So whether the Mets have to take a chance on a middle infielder with injury issues, off-the-field issues, or some other type of warts, I will sleep easy tonight knowing that Juan Lagares will make centerfield in Citi Field the place where fly balls go to die for the foreseeable future.  I want Lagares to defensively kill rallies the same way Andruw Jones used to do against the Mets.  Tonight’s Gold Glove is a sign that he is one of the (if not THE) best defensive outfielders in the game.  I have a feeling that a few Juan Lagares Gold Gloves will turn into Cy Young Awards for some of his teammates in the near future.  But that is probably just the Mets fan in me.  Our optimistic season only goes from November-July.  Juanny Beisbol is now Juanny Be Gold.

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to treat my eyeballs to some Juan Lagares baseball porn.  I suggest you do the same.



Christmas is around the corner and your ol’ blogging pal Clem sure would sure love a Mini Museum.  For those of you that didn’t want to look at the picture above, the Mini Museum is “a portable collection of curiosities where every item is authentic, iconic, and labeled.”  As someone who grew up collecting baseball cards, I have become accustomed trying to chase down a bunch of bullshit that is rare and hard to find.  But the Mini Museum isn’t a Jose Canseco rookie card or a Kobe Bryant refractor.  It has stuff that is actually historically important.  Dinosaur eggs?  A piece of the Titanic?  A metorite from Mars?  Legitimately awesome shit.  And all of these items have been verified to be true. So you know you aren’t buying moon rocks from some jamoke off the street.

When I first heard about the Mini Museum on reddit, I saw that you can put together 75% of this stuff for almost nothing.  But that isn’t the American Way.  I don’t want to search high and low for items that may or may not be available for purchase. When people are talking about random current events, I want to drop the hammer on them.

“Clem, did you hear about all that craziness going on Egypt?”
“Yeah. I wonder if it was this crazy back when the piece of Egyptian mummy wrap I own was first made.”

“Hey Clem, which movie do you like more: Lincoln or Jurassic Park?”
“Well I own a a piece of Honest Abe’s house, as well as a piece of a T-Rex. I guess I would say Jurassic Park.”  Boom, I am automatically the coolest guy in the room and I will be leaving with the hottest chick*.  

“Yo Clemson, I love the blog. I will never forget where I was the first time I read it. Kinda like how I will never forget where I was when the Berlin Wall fell.”
“Oh, thanks man! Funny story, I actually own a piece of the Berlin Wall thanks to the kindness of someone who reads my blog.”

The Mini Museum is a life changer.  Buy one for your favorite blogger today!

*I will not be leaving with the hottest chick.

“Slide into your DM’s like…”.

“Born Ready just creepin'”.

“<Any sort of Undertaker reference>”.

God bless the internet.

P.S. Last night’s Clyde Suit Rating = Prodigious and Ubiquitous



If your business’s warehouse is going to burn down, at least let it entertain the internet for a few days.  That was a scene straight out of Naked Gun.  God those movies and Leslie Nielsen are underrated.

Also, this is the one time it is OK to tape a fireworks show.  Any other time you do it, you are an L-7 Weenieeeeeee.