Archive for February, 2015

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Usually following Frank Isola on Twitter is a chore for Knicks fans. The dude oozes negativity and one-liners clowning the Knicks. But after news of Anthony Mason’s passing, Isola did a good job getting some quotes and stories about Mason and those tough 90s Knicks teams.  R.I.P. Mase.

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Final Rating: 7.1/10.  S’mores are 2 things:

1. Awesomely American.

2. The epitome of a hit or miss dessert.

I have made a few s’mores the last couple of years, and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that if you pull off a great s’more, it may be the king of desserts.  But the odds of doing that are slim to none.  They either get too messy, the mallow doesn’t come out right, or everything falls apart.  It was a decent try by Lunchables, but it is impossible to replace how great a roasted mallow tastes or a freshly broken Hershey bar.  And graham crackers are probably the most underrated food in the history of the world.  I am never in the mood for a graham cracker, but can easily finish a brick of them if I just have one.  A for effort, D for execution, Lunchables (I think a 71 is a D, right?).

And if these are actually considered lunch food for kids now, the diabetes numbers of today will be child’s play to what they are in 10 years.

 

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

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Wow wow wow wow wow. The music, the intense Harvey stare, the promise of weather above 10 degrees. This video has it all. I am laying next to a pile of “happy tissues” at my house after watching that. And the best part about all of it is that Harvey Day will be back in our lives once every five days. Glorious. Simply glorious.    

https://vine.co/v/O2iQbrIpHBw/embed/postcard

 

P.S. Derek Jeter comes off as such a villain in this trailer. The good-looking, well dressed rich guy with the life that is too good to be true. Similar to Harvey Dent, except Maggie Gylenhaal looks closer to me than she does Hannah Davis.

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Final Rating: 8.1/10  There are 3 certainties in life:

1. Whenever a snack food has a “limited edition” or “limited batch” of a new flavor, I will 100% buy it.

2. I will rate any Cape Cod chip (other than Buffalo Cheddar) at least a 7.5 because of how well they kettle cook the chips.

3. People will mispronounce the word “chipotle” and it will drive me bananas.  I should not be friends with those people.

As for the chip, I’m not a huge flavored-chip guy.  It’s decent, not great.  Give me a bag of regular Cape Cod chips any day of the week.  And bring back the Dark Russets, God dammit!

P.S. I was in the Cape over the summer and stopped by the Cape Cod Potato Chip Factory.  I hate to admit how high that was on my bucket list.  Still brings a tear to my eye thinking about it.

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To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

Will NBA travels ever not be completely absurd and hilarious? As someone who grew up watching Patrick Ewing incorporate a 3 Step Shuffle as a signature move, I have always had respect for great travels. And if we are being honest, I can’t even blame Amundson. You never know when LeBron is going to come from behind and swat your breakaway dunk to oblivion like some sort of snake.

You also have to love Clyde and Breen just laughing their asses off at Amundson blatantly traveling. They are simply the best.

If you listen closely you’ll hear the #serial theme played during a Blazers’ dead ball. #ubiquitous

A video posted by Alex Catchings (@catchiness) on Dec 26, 2014 at 10:23pm PST

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Very cool to hear in public.  The more I think of it, the more I believe that the music was the best part of the podcast.  Someone needs to make a classic rap song with that beat ASAP.  And of course they did this in Portland.  Soooo crunchy granola out there.

 

Final Rating: 6.4/10.  This tastes nothing like an Oreo.  It’s just vanilla and chocolate pudding in a cup.  While I don’t hate that combination, you don’t lead people to believe that you are going to have that glorious taste of Oreo creme in the pudding cup.  The Oreo cookie (especially the creme part) is an American treasure.  Don’t you dare disgrace it, Jell-O.  Straight up communist shit right there.

Bill Cosby Impersonation Rating: 3/10.  I have learned that the camera adds (at least) 15 pounds and completely ruins all of my celebrity impressions.  Though to be fair, I don’t think I have ever tried to impersonate Bill Cosby until this video.  Big mistake.  Anyway, here is a Bill Cosby Gelatin Pop commercial that comes across much differently now than it did back then.  What exactly WAS he doing with his other hand during filming?  I don’t think we want to know.

 

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

 

So simple, so good.  God bless Mongo Nation.

 

h/t Chad for the video

 

 

I can’t lie, this made me a little jealous as a Knicks fan. The Knicks suck just like the Lakers, but there is no joy in New York. These idiots are loving life after beating another shitty team (the Celtics) in overtime.

Now the NBA fan that spent his whole life listening to old, cranky sportswriters says these guys should be more serious about becoming a better team. But the evolved blogger with my own thoughts and feelings says this is great.

Can you imagine being on the Lakers and not having to look over your shoulder to make sure Dictator Kobe wasn’t going to murder you? It’s like staying at your girlfriend’s parents house for a weekend. You are on your best behavior the entire time, holding in all your farts and trying to avoid dropping an F bomb. The minute you leave that house, you can just let the farts fly and curse your brain off. Swaggy P is going to be extra Swaggy the next few months, and I for one cannot wait to see him finally fulfill his potential.

However, seeing Jeremy Lin and Jordan Hill having a ball was a nice kick in the dick. Lin because Peak Linsanity was probably the most fun the Garden has had since the 90s. And Jordan Hill because…well…you know.

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*Drinks full gallon of bleach*

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I wrote this blog a few weeks ago but never published it, so I apologize for the delay.  The YouTube video has millions of views, but I had to blog about it just because this was huge news for anyone who loved that video/song.  That is on me.  I can assure you it won’t happen again (just kidding, I’m sure it will happen all the time because I am a moron).  Anyway….

Between the Super Bowl Halftime Show and her old dancers coming up with tributes for her, this has to be the year of Missy Elliott, right?  It has been almost 20 years since the Supa Dupa Fly music video gave us all nightmares and Misdemeanor is still somehow semi-relevant.

 

Anyway, we can all agree that seeing young girls from TV/movies all grown up is always weird for guys, right?  Like it was weird when Hayden Panettiere went from the little kid from Remember The Titans to the smokeshow that was getting destroyed by one of the Klitschko man-mountains.  Or watching Natalie Portman in Leon and then seeing her in Black Swan.  That is just flat out weird.  You don’t want to feel like a pederass, but hot is hot.

Also, definitely would.

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