Archive for March, 2015

Final Rating: 8.7/10.  As a Mets fan, I have no beef with Red Sox fans.  We have a common enemy in Yankees fans and there is really no overlay.  Plus, one of the greatest moments in Mets history is an all-time testicle kick (the 1986 World Series).  This goes double for the Patriots and their fans.  Anyway, Red Sox fans have a deep love for the Fenway Franks.  I enjoyed them when I went to Fenway in 2005, but I never thought in a million years I would see them in a grocery store in suburban New York.  

The Fenway Franks are more Ballpark frank than Nathan’s, Sabrett, or Hebrew National.  A good amount of flavor and a compact dog.  Thank GOD that grilling season has started again, which is officially anytime after St. Patty’s Day in the Clem household.  It also means you cannot wear a winter jacket again until November.  But that’s the responsibility that comes with the honor of grilling.  Screw the Yankees, Lets Go Mets (and Red Sox too, especially times where it will piss off Yankees fans).  And for the record, I am pretty sure that Fenway Franks were better than Dodger Dogs.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

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Denver Post- Sixteen years in the NBA can be a blur, Al Harrington can attest to that. He lived it.  On Wednesday, he recounted near two-decades worth of just sheer fun, allowing the words that put an end to things kick off the conversation.  He sat courtside at the Toyota Center after helping out during a Nuggets practice, and finally said it.  “I’m officially retired,” Harrington said. “I don’t know if there’s paperwork that I gotta fill out or anything. But my career is over.”

 

Congrats to Al Harrington, who was a solid, if not unspectacular player during his time in the NBA.  He was USA Today’s National Player of the Year during his senior year in high school before being drafted by the Pacers in 1998.  He was one of those band-aid type players that the Knicks seemed to run through during the 2000s.  But that Vine is the best Gus Johnson call I have ever heard during his days announcing in the NBA.  He has countless better calls during college basketball games, but as for the NBA, there is none better.

But seeing how today kicks off March Madness, I was all ready to link to the Gus Johnson soundboard.  But to my chagrin, it seems like the Soundboard has been killed.  I don’t know how the creator didn’t start a GoFundMe to raise enough money to keep the site running, but it is a damn shame.  We have had a chick raise money so she can get stuffed in Las Vegas and a dude raise money so he can see if his chick is getting stuffed on Spring Break.  How the creator of the soundboard never asked for a few bucks to keep a piece of internet gold alive is beyond me.

So in the absence of said Gus Johnson soundboard, here are some of Gus’ best calls via YouTube.  Happy March Madness, everybody!!!

 

 

P.S. I stumbled upon this Al Harrington ad while searching for a picture for the blog. Gus Johnson just causally making people money with his awesome calls.  He is a national treasure.  And God bless you if you would buy a razor for your head because it is endorsed by Al Harrington holding a bunch of them in a bucket.  That seems like a surefire way to scalp yourself to me.

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Wwith today kicking off March Madness, I figured I would ask this question.  Which announcer do you like more, Gus Johnson or Bill Raftery?  Obviously one is play-by-play and the other is color commentary.  Bill Raftery is like your fun old grandpa, telling stories and just acting wacky.  While Gus is your crazy friend that gets so hyped that you get hyped while also laughing at him.  Real tough one here.  Who do you like more, Bill Raftery or Gus Johnson? (below are some videos and a poll to vote on this impossible goddamn question).

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P.S. I just found this video of Raftery and Johnson songifying the Big East.  And it is as awesome as you would imagine.

 

Final Rating: 7.8/10.  I think the review says it all. Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies are a Hall of Fame snack.  Goes in easy and you can binge them in the blink of an eye.  But if you are going to add creme inside, you need to add enough that I can taste it.  Truth be told, a plain Chewy Chip Ahoy is probably a high 8 or a low 9.  My problem is they need to be bigger.  But I digress.

When you start teasing me with frosting talk and I can barely taste the dusting of frosting in the cookie, we are gonna have beef.  Like serious 2Pac/Biggie, somebody’s got to die beef.  So be better Chips Ahoy and get your act together for your next marvelous treat.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

To all the dirty minds out there.. #sexting

A video posted by Nina Agdal (@ninaagdal) on Mar 16, 2015 at 6:48pm PDT

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Oh you guys thought you were getting a sexy supermodel leg show, right?  Nope you idiots!  That was just some random whale with human legs posting on a Monday night.  The joke is on the internet, I suppose.  Because I definitely didn’t just stare at that Instagram for 20 minutes straight in a very creepy manner and start wondering if I may indeed be a furry at heart.  No siree, not this guy.  That would just be weird, right?

 

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So someone put together this Family Feud + Google Results mashup.  It’s pretty fun, but basically impossible to get every answer.  Trust me, I am a Family Feud master, but the categories I got were impossible.  Anyway, check it out if you want to help kill a Monday.

http://www.googlefeud.com/

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Sheridan Hoops-  2. Marc Gasol, Memphis Grizzlies (Unrestricted)

He probably isn’t going anywhere, either. And a little birdie who knows of what he speaks tells me Gasol has already ruled out playing for the New York Knicks. It’s nothing personal with Phil Jackson or that consummate New Yorker, Jim Dolan (gag). It’s a matter of money. He can get a five-year deal to stay in Memphis, where he attended high school. After taxes, that will be worth more than twice what he would get from New York.

 

Well that was a real kick in the dick.  I think all Knicks fans thought Gasol was the best free agent the Knicks had a shot at.  You know when you come up with a ton of reasons for why a player will sign with your team that really don’t matter when push comes to shove?  Well here were mine for Marc Gasol and New York, in math equation form:

Marc’s brother Pau loved playing in the triangle for Phil Jackson in L.A. + Pau has 2 rings thanks to Phil + Marc looks up to Pau + Marc is a young Spaniard that apparently loves culture + New York has roughly 1 billion times more culture than Memphis + New York is CLOSER to Spain than Memphis + There are tonnnnnnnns of Spanish-speaking people in New York = Marc Gasol is 100% going to sign with the Knicks.

But I guess the whole “Grew up and loves it in Memphis + The Grizzlies are clearly a better team + Gasol can make twice as much from Memphis as he could from New York” just may be enough to slightly tip the scales out of New York’s favor.

Sheridan lists Greg Monroe and LaMarcus Aldridge as number 4 and 5 on his list, with the Knicks being a potential fit for both (Monroe being much more likely).  So I guess all hope isn’t lost.  And if neither sign with the Knicks, New York can always draft Jahlil Okafor or Karl Anthony-Towns with the number 1 pick (please, please, please you spiteful Basketball Gods).

 

And while we are speaking of the draft, news broke on Sunday that the Knicks were shopping their number 1 pick:

ESPN- In an interview on ESPN New York’s “The Robin Lundberg Show,” ESPN NBA reporter Brian Windhorst said the Knicks are at the very least considering their options when it comes to trading their first-round pick.

Specifically, Windhorst said the Knicks are looking into “opportunities” to see “what they could possibly get if they trade their draft pick.”

Of course, it’s wise for Phil Jackson and the Knicks to at least gauge the market for the pick.  

 

Basically long story short, that report was just some click bait to take advantage of us frail, emotionally-abused Knicks fans.  Obviously the Knicks aren’t going to head into the draft with blinders on and just use their pick.  They are going to see what they can get for it, regardless of where the pick is in the lottery.  And it would honestly be stupid not to.

Now, it’s not like Steph Curry or Russell Westbrook are going to be offered in a trade for the pick.  But you never know how stupid another NBA team may be.  Like, for example, when the Bulls robbed the Knicks blind in the Eddy Curry trade.  Phil is going to have to at least shop around and see what’s out there before deciding what he will do with the pick.  There are going to be a ton of fake trade rumors and discussion about who the Knicks will pick.  But it’s better then what Knicks fans have looked forward to the last few summers.

“Hey mom, check out this funny picture I saw on Facebook today. Who cares that 10 of the best athletes in the world are competing right in front of us. Annnnnnd, your dead”. Meanwhile orange shirt guy with the “I care but I don’t care” one-handed, cross-body block attempt and Uncle Ben readying himself to catch this old coot’s melon once it pops off her head.

Old lady gets hit in face with basketball. Timeless. Classic. The modern day, real life version of Man Getting Hit By Football.

Final Rating: 8.2/10.  Pretty goddamn good, but it can get pretty goddamn messy as well.  I went into this review with a slanted outlook, being that dirt pails are a Clem family tradition that will dominate any summer barbecue dessert contest.  But if you are looking to get your fix from a $0.99 Lunchable, it does the trick.  But beware of the carnage it can cause on your hands if you black out and become a frosting and Oreo crazed savage.  And for the record, that shit isn’t frosting.  It is a watered down pudding variety.  As someone who has reached rock bottom and ate frosting out of the tub with a spoon, I know what pure, uncut frosting to the gullet tastes like.

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To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

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The people that brought you Podcast Award nominees (and hopefully winners. Go on and vote, people!) KFC Radio and Mailtime have done it again.  Us Mets fans finally have a podcast that is for the common fan, by the common fan.  It is called Put It In The Podcast and is hosted by Jesse Funk and Greg Niemczyk.  Jesse and Greg will be putting podcasts up weekly, and also record whenever a big game/trade/something randomly heartbreaking that can only happen to the Mets occurs.

I joined them for this week’s episode.  We talked about the hot Mets topics of the week, including the Dillon Gee trade rumors, Zack Wheeler’s struggles, the insanity of 2 Billy Beanes in baseball, Daniel Murphy’s gay-fearing comments, Wilmer Flores vs. Matt Reynolds, getting slapped on the ass by Edgardo Alfonzo, and Lucas Duda’s dongs (it’s not how it sounds).  Listen to the episode below and check out all episodes of the podcast on iTunes by clicking here.

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