Archive for May, 2015

Final Rating: 7.2/10. If you are going to say something tastes like a s’more, it sure as hell better taste like a s’more. And that cookie did not taste like a s’more. S’mores are as American as apple pie, so try to avoid spitting on the Constitution next time your flavor scientist nerds are making flavors in their lab, Oreo. And I will use that line from The Sandlot every single time I taste a disappointing s’mores product. Because The Sandlot is simply classic American cinema.

And finally, continuing with the “America” theme, ripping open that resealable packaging with one hand in the epitome of “American brawn”. I could probably be a G.I. Joe character if they still made those cartoons today.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

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Final Rating: 8.5/10.  Basically a Corn Nut, if you have ever had one of them.  The butter and salt flavor is real good and can lead to some good old fashioned binging.  The kernel was not too hard, which was my biggest worry going into the review.  Well my biggest worry other than the health effects of doing all these junk food reviews for the love of the game.  But that discussion is for another day.  We have a bag of partially popped popcorn to finish.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

Sure, the Hitler meme has been done to death, but I think “Hitler in his bunker as the allied forces close in” is probably the best way to describe the way it felt to be a Knicks fan last Tuesday night. Just hopeless, trying to talk yourself into everything being alright.  Hope Melo stays healthy, the Knicks hit big in free agency, and the pick doesn’t become a complete disaster.  But us Knicks fans have to believe in something.   An entire year of tanking for this bullshit. So sad. So Knicks.

Also, the Cavs bowtie kid line killed me.  Because that son of a bitch has magical powers.  The least LeBron could have done after leaving the entire state of New York with blue balls following the Decision would have been to lend that bowtied rabbit’s foot to the Knicks for the lottery. Instead, nothing but Hitler memes for this sad ass franchise.

h/t Knicksmemes for creating this gem

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My Twitter pal Bobby came up with another one of these $20 challenges over at Fan Rag Sports.  Basically you choose one player from each position and a coach, but it has to be under $20.  Check out Bobby’s breakdown on Fan Rag Sports when you have a chance.  Anyway, here are my picks.  Granted I’m not a diehard college hoops fan, but I know as much as a decent fan should know, as Syracuse can still rip my heart out every 12 months or so.  And before you ask “wait, where is this guy?”, these are only players from the last 5 seasons.  And if there was a glaring omission, yell at Bobby on Twitter at UKLefty22.  Anyway, here is my squad:

PG Kemba Walker $3

Lets see, a guy that basically dragged his team through the Big East Tournament when it still mattered and then to an NCAA championship?  Biggest no-brainer ever.  Kemba was the mother f’ing TRUTH.

SG Jimmer Fredette $5

If you didn’t fall in love with Jimmermania back in the day, you are an asshole and cannot be trusted in this exercise.  Kemba breaks down the defense for my squad.  And if the defense wants to help, Jimmer will bomb treys from 30 feet out.  I am convinced that Vine was created because of Jimmer, and Steph Curry made it huge/perfected it.

SF Michael Kidd-Gilchrist $4

Now if I have Jimmer on my team, I admit that I need somebody to play defense.  MKG is the Swiss army knife defender that can match up with a bunch of different positions.  Plus he doesn’t need to score.  And if that’s not enough…

PF Kawhi Leonard $1

I have Kawhi at the power forward spot.  Sure he is 6’7″, but in college hoops that can pass for a power forward.  Obviously he isn’t as polished as he is now in San Antonio, but the dude was a stud coming out of college.

C Anthony Davis $5

And then we have The Brow in the middle.  Erasing any mistakes made on defense while also being a nightmare matchup on the offensive end.

Coach Tom Izzo $2

Izzo makes the Final Four every other year with a team usually filled with rag tag players.  With this collection, he can probably top UCLA’s 88-game winning streak no problem.  The more I look at this list, the more I become convinced that this is the only acceptable lineup.

Agree?  Disagree?  Have a roster you want to share? Hit me up on Twitter @TheClemReport.