Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

Final Rating: 9.6/10. First off, let me be clear on this. Ben & Jerry’s is easily the best ice cream around. They make their products the right way because they are a bunch of crunchy hippies, so the base of the ice cream is good. And then they pack it with the most extras in the game. Tonight Dough is caramel & chocolate ice creams with chocolate cookie swirls & cobs of chocolate chip cookie dough and peanut butter cookie dough. Long story short, every single on of those flavors hits. I am more of a vanilla fan than a chocolate fan, though. That’s why I couldn’t rate it a perfect 10. But this ice cream received the best rating I have ever given a food since I started doing this bloggin nonsense. I have been to the Ben & Jerry’s factory multiple times and the longest minutes of my life are experienced during the ride home after buying some fresh Ben & Jerry’s from the store. So when I say this is the best Ben & Jerry’s ice cream I have ever had, you know it comes from the heart.

And I feel just as passionately about my stance on Kimmel being better than Fallon.  Fallon has some funny skits and ideas.  But Jimmy Kimmel is just infinitely funnier/cooler than Fallon.  And oh yeah, Kimmel would never EVER pull a stunt like this.

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To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

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Final Rating: 6.4/10. Cookies and creme is one of my favorite ice cream flavors. And the candy bar is good as hell too. But there is something missing in this cereal. Not a ton of flavor is present and it just feels wrong to eat a candy bar without a lot of flavor. And don’t get me wrong, i LOVE Reese’s Puffs. In fact, I think it’s safe to say Reese’s Puffs are my favorite cereal. But these things don’t hold a candle to Reese’s Puffs. And to be honest, the Cookies ‘n’ Creme box shouldn’t even come close to having a similar looking label to Reese’s Puffs. It’s sacrilegious.  Go to hell, Cookies ‘n’ Creme cereal.  OK, that was kind of strong.  But still, you suck.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

Final Rating: 9.2/10. Wow. That’s all I can really say after eating these Chocolate Covered Twinkies. They were much better than I was ready for them to be. The best way I can compare how good they are is by referencing the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Twinkies are like Wes. A name everybody knows about when discussing desserts/The Challenge. But they are truly nothing special in the grand scheme of things. But the season where Wes was on steroids and destroyed the competition? That is what Twinkies dipped in chocolate tastes like. Contenders for the title. Is that a bold statement? Yes. But I wholeheartedly stand by it. Chocolate Covered Twinkies = Wes From MTV: The Challenge. Where else can you get analysis like that?

P.S. This review was done outside while having a picnic on a blanket. Try and be more wholesomely American than eating Twinkies during a picnic. You can’t.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

Final Rating: 7.2/10. If you are going to say something tastes like a s’more, it sure as hell better taste like a s’more. And that cookie did not taste like a s’more. S’mores are as American as apple pie, so try to avoid spitting on the Constitution next time your flavor scientist nerds are making flavors in their lab, Oreo. And I will use that line from The Sandlot every single time I taste a disappointing s’mores product. Because The Sandlot is simply classic American cinema.

And finally, continuing with the “America” theme, ripping open that resealable packaging with one hand in the epitome of “American brawn”. I could probably be a G.I. Joe character if they still made those cartoons today.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

Final Rating: 8.5/10.  Basically a Corn Nut, if you have ever had one of them.  The butter and salt flavor is real good and can lead to some good old fashioned binging.  The kernel was not too hard, which was my biggest worry going into the review.  Well my biggest worry other than the health effects of doing all these junk food reviews for the love of the game.  But that discussion is for another day.  We have a bag of partially popped popcorn to finish.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

Final Rating: 8.9/10.  Unlike some of the reviews I have done in the past, this actually tastes like the food it is imitating.  French toast rules and French Toast Crunch tastes like French toast.  I missed French Toast Crunch the first time it made its rounds in grocery stores, but I’m happy I didn’t miss the encore performance.  The geniuses at Cinnamon Toast Crunch have done it again!

In related news, I have been eating a lot of cereal for lunch lately.  Nothing will make you feel like more of a poor person than eating cold cereal for lunch more than in emergencies (and even in the emergencies, you feel pretty poor).  

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

Final Rating: 8.7/10.  As a Mets fan, I have no beef with Red Sox fans.  We have a common enemy in Yankees fans and there is really no overlay.  Plus, one of the greatest moments in Mets history is an all-time testicle kick (the 1986 World Series).  This goes double for the Patriots and their fans.  Anyway, Red Sox fans have a deep love for the Fenway Franks.  I enjoyed them when I went to Fenway in 2005, but I never thought in a million years I would see them in a grocery store in suburban New York.  

The Fenway Franks are more Ballpark frank than Nathan’s, Sabrett, or Hebrew National.  A good amount of flavor and a compact dog.  Thank GOD that grilling season has started again, which is officially anytime after St. Patty’s Day in the Clem household.  It also means you cannot wear a winter jacket again until November.  But that’s the responsibility that comes with the honor of grilling.  Screw the Yankees, Lets Go Mets (and Red Sox too, especially times where it will piss off Yankees fans).  And for the record, I am pretty sure that Fenway Franks were better than Dodger Dogs.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.