The Impossible Question: Who Is Your Least Favorite Seinfeld Character?

Every season, my fantasy baseball league has a theme for team names.  Each year, you rename your team based on that theme.  Last year was Seinfeld.  And I’m not talking just Seinfeld characters.  You could be David Putty or you could be the Urban Sombrero.  There was obviously no shortage of incredible options.  Because if you ask a group of people what their favorite Seinfeld episode/character/storyline/etc. is, you will get a ton of different answers.

But I kind of went the other way here.  Who is your LEAST favorite character?  I do actually think there is one clear answer, but I may be wrong. So much on that show was great, especially if the character was a terrible person. So write in your answer below, Google Forms will add everything up and yada yada yada we will have our answer for who the worst Seinfeld character is/was.

Follow @TheClemReport

Did Suge Knight Admit To Injecting Eazy-E With AIDS On Jimmy Kimmel Back In 2003?

Wait, what?!?  Granted this video is more than 10 years old and Eazy-E died 20 years ago, but can you really put anything past Suge Knight?  I went to see Straight Outta Compton the other night and was scared of Suge Knight the entire time, and that was while he was being played by an actor in a movie.  Cigar in mouth, dressed head-to-toe in red, cocky as hell.  He is and always will be the scariest dude on the planet.

And to be honest, you could sell me on the fact that Suge Knight has committed any murder that he wasn’t in prison for (and was the mastermind behind every murder that happened while he was in prison).  I bet if you gave Sarah Koenig and Serial some time, we could have Suge in prison for the murder of Hae.  Suge Knight is to violence what Mike Trout is to baseball.  There are really no limits to his abilities.  Just a once in a lifetime talent.  Injecting someone with AIDS during the mid-90’s would be a reach for basically every other person on the planet other than Suge Knight.

Follow @TheClemReport

Impossible Music Question: Ignition Remix vs. Yeah!

So last week I put Ignition Remix up against I’m Real Remix and I heard a lot of chirping that Ignition Remix could not be beat in a Best Song contest. It’s the GOAT.  The R cannot possibly be touched. Yada, yada, yada. So lets see if Ignition Remix can take down some more heavy hitters.  First up is Yeah!, which dominated the music scene along with Ignition Remix back in 2004.  So here we go.  Ignition Remix vs. Yeah!  Which is the better song?

Ignition Remix

Vs.

Yeah!

My Review For Dr. Dre’s Final Album: “Compton”

 

Dr. Dre’s The Chronic was the first CD I ever bought and it is what turned me into the hip hop fan that I am today.  Dre was my favorite artist when I started listening to hip hop, before future favorites 2Pac, Biggie, and Jay-Z.  G Funk and Death Row were my world (well as much they can be for some white suburban kid in New York).  I never went all the way and bought a White Sox hat, mostly because I was scared of how stupid I would look when I wore it.

As for 2001, that is in my Top 5 for favorite albums ever.  Maybe it’s because it came out when I was at an age where I was starting to party more and it was chock full with party songs.  Maybe it’s because it merged the old Dre crew (Snoop, Kurupt, etc.) with the new Dre crew (Eminem, Xzibit).  Or maybe, just maybe it’s because it’s an INCREDIBLE album.  Just two instant classics by the most successful man in hip hop history (N.W.A., Death Row, Snoop, Eminem, 5o Cent, The Game, Beats By Dre, etc. etc. etc.). And this tweet was crazy and made me feel extremely old.

Jon Stewart took over The Daily Show same year Dr. Dre's '2001' came out. His last episode aired same day Dre's final album released. 16 yrs

— B. Jenkins (@Jersey_Jinx) August 7, 2015

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Which brings us to Compton.  If you didn’t buy it, you can listen to it streaming on Apple Music here.  I was obvisouly stoked for this album to come out.  I waited for years to hear Detox.  Anytime I caught wind of a rumor about Detox, it would send me down a rabbit hole going through random hip hop sites which ended up saying something like “Xzibit said Dre is ready to drop Detox shortly.”  Which was obviously all bullshit.  Once Compton was announced out of the blue, I was thrilled and I immediately pre-ordered the album on iTunes.  But I was also a little nervous that it was coming out to help promote the N.W.A.-inspired movie Straight Outta Compton while also being tied to the newly-launched Apple Music.  But I figured Dr. Dre is a perfectionist and he would come through like he always does.

But I was wrong.  Now in my eyes, it’s not really Dre’s fault.  His albums have always been about the beats and then finding the perfect artists to rap over them.  And as always, Dre delivers with some incredible music.  Do I think there is a beat that compares to Nuthin But A ‘G’ Thang or The Next Episode?  No.  But you can still nod your head to many of the songs on the album.  The real problem lies in the voices dropping the lyrics.  Kendrick Lamar is good, even though I’ve never considered myself a Kendrick Lamar fan.  I enjoyed listening to former Dre apprentices Snoop and Eminem.  And even though he isn’t known for his rapping per se, Dre does a good job.  The best way I could put it is that hearing Dre and Kendrick on a track gave me the feeling in my stomach I would get if I picked up a star in Mario Kart.  But when other rappers came on the track, I got the feeling in my stomach that I would get after picking up a green shell or a banana.  Just disappointment while hoping things would get better soon.  When Dre did this with unknown rappers on his first two albums, it worked fine.  But a lot of those rappers would become stars, like Snoop, Kurupt, Nate Dogg (R.I.P.), Xzibit, and so on.

Now I am sure I will hear the people say that this album is about more than being good music you want to listen to, just like they say with all the new Kanye albums.  It’s about the “art” of it all.  But that’s BS.  I can listen to The Chronic and 2001 from front to back and be blown away the entire time without skipping one track.  That is simply not the case with Compton.  And it has nothing to do with me building it up too much, because 2001 was built up in my mind higher than the Empire State Building and it STILL exceed my expectations.

 

So this is how I would compare Dr. Dre’s run to real life:

The Chronic = 1st Bulls threepeat

Been There, Done That = Return wearing the 4-5

2001 = 2nd Bulls threepeat

Compton = The Wizard years

And before I get called out for being too critical for calling the album the MJ Wizard years, don’t forget that those seasons had some highlights. Like the two-handed block of Ron Mercer.

https://vine.co/v/ewMQzww7jtU/embed/postcardhttps://platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js

 

Anyway, after I listened to the stream, this happened:

 

Yup, I cancelled my preorder. I knew I would never want to listen to the album again.  If I want to hear a song, I can find it on YouTube. So yeah, thumbs down on Compton.  And it breaks my goddamn heart.

Follow @TheClemReport

Impossible Music Question: I’m Real (Remix) vs. Ignition (Remix)

The battle of the remixes that reigned supreme in the 2000s. Ja Rule and JLo vs. The R. I would like to say that this only involves the song, but JLo’s pink shorts and the party scenes from the Ignition video will always come to mind when discussing the songs, so I have included them here. I’ve flip flopped 5 times just writing this blog. So it’s up to you to settle this once and for all. Which song is better?

I’m Real Remix

Vs.

Ignition Remix

 

Follow @TheClemReport

Impossible Music Question. Cam’ron Edition: Hey Ma vs. Oh Boy

Killa Cam had a hell of a run in the early-2000s to the point where that picture above didn’t seem COMPLETELY ridiculous.  Anyway, these are still two bangers that will get any good party going.  So who ya got?

 

Hey Ma:

 

VS.

 

Oh Boy

 

Follow @TheClemReport

Impossible Music Question: Down Bottom vs. Jigga My N****

 

If you listen to hip hop, there is a 90% chance that album cover above just gave you some feelings in your stomach.  Ryde of Die Vol. 1 is one of the best hip hop collaboration albums ever, with two HEAVY HITTERS appearing on tracks 2 and 3.  I honestly don’t know which song is better.  So it is up to you, Clem Report reader, to listen and vote.

 

Down Bottom:

 

VS.

 

Jigga My N****

 

Follow @TheClemReport

Impossible Music Question: Which Of The Two Main Jurassic Park Songs Is The Best?

So with Jurassic World coming out soon, I figured this was the best time to ask this question. Whenever I think of the Jurassic Park song, I think of when they enter the park for the first time. But to be fair, the actual theme to Jurassic Park is a whole lot of Johm Williams awesomeness and a ton of people probably associate that more with the movie. So it’s time to ask the impossible question. Which Jurassic Park song is better?

Song A:

Or

Song B:

VOTE BELOW:

Follow @TheClemReport

Man Goes On Divorce Court Because He Is Convinced His Girl Cheated On Him With The Entire Wu Tang Clan

Wow.  Just wow.  That video left me breathless.  First of all, lets just get this out in the open.  That lady slept with the entire Wu Tang Clan.  Not just one or two of the members of Wu Tang.  But all 150 of them.  The Rza, The Gza, Ol Dirty Bastard, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God, Ghostface Killah and the Method Man.  Sure ODB may be dead in the physical form, but that dude is alive in spirit.  And he slept with this woman.  Pure common sense says if you are a young woman with the Wu after a concert at 7 am, you slept with those guys.  But when this is your response to the judge asking about what your night was like with the Wu Tang Clan:

YOU ARE GUILTY!  The fact, smile, and wistful clutching of the hands says it all.

Next up, I don’t understand why this guy is so upset.  Just be happy that your (ex?) girl made it out of there alive.  I would be scared to be in the same room as people in the Wu just from hearing the torture song from 36 Chambers.  Just life-altering, chilling stuff there.  The woman you had and loved is gone.  Like in Hangover 2 when they say “Bangkok has him now”.  Well guess what Nathan?  The Wu has Lia now.  Is it fair?  No.  But that is what may happen if you let your shorty go to a Wu Tang concert without you.  I don’t want to say it’s Nathan’s fault, but it’s one billion percent Nathan’s fault.  I just wish Lia could own it and tell the stories of what happened that magical night with Killa Beez.  Then again, I am extremely happy I will never hear that story.

PS- DEFINITELY would

PSS- Diversify your bonds

h/t to the fantastic @SeanAndBoShow for the tip

Impossible Music Question: Ludacris vs. Nelly

Today’s Impossible Music Question delves into a much deeper discussion into everyone’s favorite 2000s rappers.  For my money, these two defined 2000-2010.  Just hot party jump offs left and right.  If you weren’t getting wasted to the soundtracks of Ludacris and Nelly, I don’t know why you are here (well except for you, mom.  Hi and thanks for reading!).  Anyway, without comment, here are some of their biggest hits.  Who do you got?  Ludacris or Nelly?

Ludacris:

 

Vs.

 

Nelly:

 

 

 

 

 

Now that you have voted, here is the video that would sway anyone to Nelly.  Tip Drill.  A staple for anyone who stayed up and watched Uncut on BET growing up.

 

Follow @TheClemReport