Archive for the ‘Baseball’ Category

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I didn’t realize how much I missed Vlady Daddy’s swing until I saw the All-Star Celebrity Softball Game last night. The Home Run Derby’s new format worked like a charm and owned the night, but seeing Vlady just hacking like he was back in Montreal was the cherry on top. No batting gloves and a strike zone from his nose to his toes. Just the coolest player in baseball.

I am still upset that the Mets didn’t sign him as a free agent back in 2004. They elected to go the Mike Cameron/Kaz Matsui route, which I think we can all agree was a mistake, even if Vlady was coming off of a back injury and Ray Ramirez had just become head trainer of the team.  But still, just a typically brutal decision by the Mets.

And lets not forget Vlady’s absolute cannon in right field.  Ahhh screw it, lets just stop fighting it and go down the Vlady Guerrero wormhole together.

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(That last video had it all. Pedro and Vlady on the Expos. Carlos Baerga, Edgardo Alfonzo, and Todd Hundley on the Mets. What a blast from the goddamn past).

Three home run game be damned, if I was Sandy Alderson I would cut Kirk Nieuwenhuis and sign Vlady Guerrero tomorrow.  Better bat, better arm, and a slight disadvantage in running  (JK, Vlady always ran like one leg was 18 inches shorter than the other).

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The video basically says it all. What it doesn’t mention is how they snuck into Michael Jordan’s All-Star party with Ian Kinsler’s buddies and hung out in VIP with MJ, Derek Jeter, and all the other All-Stars (Kinsler, Chase Utley, etc.). If I had tried to pull a move like this, no doubt my ass would have been thrown in a patty wagon. Matt (the younger brother) saw MJ leave the bathroom and froze. So he did what any normal person would do. Gave Michael Jordan the biggest hug possible. They also chatted up Jeter throughout the night, fulfilling every Yankees fan’s wildest (non-sexual) dreams. They basically hung out in VIP until the end of the party. Both have been married and have had children. But I think if you gave them truth serum, both would say that night was the best night of their lives. F my life as a Mets fan.

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In honor of the Mets’ home opener, I am going to re-run this blog that I wrote in November.  As I did in 2014, I broke down the best promotions of the schedule.  This may be the first Mets season in a long time where the product on the field is better than the products given out for free off the field.  On to the rankings:

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If you wear a fedora, you are an asshole.  If you wear a fedora that was given away at a Mets game, you should probably kill yourself*

*This does not hold true for Bruno Mars, who is the only person in the world that can successfully pull off a fedora.

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Opening Day. A day of eternal hope. Warm weather and girls in sun dresses are right around the corner. To quote the great Lego Movie, “Everything is awesome”.

And then it happens. The first batch of “on pace” tweets comes in. And then a few minutes later, a couple of coworkers hit you with their own “on pace” jokes. And then finally, your local announcer, the man that will take this 162 game journey with you hand-in-hand, throws his own “on pace” joke out there. And at least he is ensured that the color commentator will laugh at his “joke”. But all this tomfoolery is just another example of why people cannot have nice things like Opening Day.

So if you hear a friend, family member, coworker, or even total stranger using one of these “on pace” stats after one game, please tell him/her that it is not cool or funny. And that no one likes them. And they will die alone and nobody will go to their funeral if they continue to make jokes like this. Together we can save the world from these tyrants.

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After appearing on the podcast a few weeks ago, I rejoined the Put It In The Podcast show to talk about Mets seasons predictions and discuss the recent moves (Lagares contract and actually acquiring living, breathing left-handed pitchers for the bullpen) in this episode. Oh yeah, and things get kind of weird.

Listen to the episode below and check out all episodes of the podcast on iTunes by clicking here. Happy Opening Day to all*!  (*Mets fans only)

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The people that brought you Podcast Award nominees (and hopefully winners. Go on and vote, people!) KFC Radio and Mailtime have done it again.  Us Mets fans finally have a podcast that is for the common fan, by the common fan.  It is called Put It In The Podcast and is hosted by Jesse Funk and Greg Niemczyk.  Jesse and Greg will be putting podcasts up weekly, and also record whenever a big game/trade/something randomly heartbreaking that can only happen to the Mets occurs.

I joined them for this week’s episode.  We talked about the hot Mets topics of the week, including the Dillon Gee trade rumors, Zack Wheeler’s struggles, the insanity of 2 Billy Beanes in baseball, Daniel Murphy’s gay-fearing comments, Wilmer Flores vs. Matt Reynolds, getting slapped on the ass by Edgardo Alfonzo, and Lucas Duda’s dongs (it’s not how it sounds).  Listen to the episode below and check out all episodes of the podcast on iTunes by clicking here.

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A-Rod truly cannot catch a break. He is like Richie Rich in the beginning of Richie Rich. He is always somehow one step behind what is trending or cool, despite having all the money in the world (except for the McDonald’s in his house. That was AWESOME).

One day, the A-Rod handwritten apology note is the topic around countless watercoolers. The next day, Big Vince Wilfork goes and changes the entire game with using some clip art and Microsoft Word concoction from hell. In fact, I don’t even know what to think of that picture. Just text bleeding onto different pages on the virtual clipboard.