Archive for the ‘Basketball’ Category

Sit back and bathe in the beauty.

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Sure, the Hitler meme has been done to death, but I think “Hitler in his bunker as the allied forces close in” is probably the best way to describe the way it felt to be a Knicks fan last Tuesday night. Just hopeless, trying to talk yourself into everything being alright.  Hope Melo stays healthy, the Knicks hit big in free agency, and the pick doesn’t become a complete disaster.  But us Knicks fans have to believe in something.   An entire year of tanking for this bullshit. So sad. So Knicks.

Also, the Cavs bowtie kid line killed me.  Because that son of a bitch has magical powers.  The least LeBron could have done after leaving the entire state of New York with blue balls following the Decision would have been to lend that bowtied rabbit’s foot to the Knicks for the lottery. Instead, nothing but Hitler memes for this sad ass franchise.

h/t Knicksmemes for creating this gem

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My Twitter pal Bobby came up with another one of these $20 challenges over at Fan Rag Sports.  Basically you choose one player from each position and a coach, but it has to be under $20.  Check out Bobby’s breakdown on Fan Rag Sports when you have a chance.  Anyway, here are my picks.  Granted I’m not a diehard college hoops fan, but I know as much as a decent fan should know, as Syracuse can still rip my heart out every 12 months or so.  And before you ask “wait, where is this guy?”, these are only players from the last 5 seasons.  And if there was a glaring omission, yell at Bobby on Twitter at UKLefty22.  Anyway, here is my squad:

PG Kemba Walker $3

Lets see, a guy that basically dragged his team through the Big East Tournament when it still mattered and then to an NCAA championship?  Biggest no-brainer ever.  Kemba was the mother f’ing TRUTH.

SG Jimmer Fredette $5

If you didn’t fall in love with Jimmermania back in the day, you are an asshole and cannot be trusted in this exercise.  Kemba breaks down the defense for my squad.  And if the defense wants to help, Jimmer will bomb treys from 30 feet out.  I am convinced that Vine was created because of Jimmer, and Steph Curry made it huge/perfected it.

SF Michael Kidd-Gilchrist $4

Now if I have Jimmer on my team, I admit that I need somebody to play defense.  MKG is the Swiss army knife defender that can match up with a bunch of different positions.  Plus he doesn’t need to score.  And if that’s not enough…

PF Kawhi Leonard $1

I have Kawhi at the power forward spot.  Sure he is 6’7″, but in college hoops that can pass for a power forward.  Obviously he isn’t as polished as he is now in San Antonio, but the dude was a stud coming out of college.

C Anthony Davis $5

And then we have The Brow in the middle.  Erasing any mistakes made on defense while also being a nightmare matchup on the offensive end.

Coach Tom Izzo $2

Izzo makes the Final Four every other year with a team usually filled with rag tag players.  With this collection, he can probably top UCLA’s 88-game winning streak no problem.  The more I look at this list, the more I become convinced that this is the only acceptable lineup.

Agree?  Disagree?  Have a roster you want to share? Hit me up on Twitter @TheClemReport.

 

Listen, I hate Duke as much as the next guy. Their fans are arrogant and their players are just so hatable. But if you wear a red Teletubby outfit in public and have a sour puss on your face when your team loses, you deserve the countless bad internet memes that will come out for the next few days/weeks/months. They used to say that everyone has 15 seconds of fame. That is no longer the case. Now everyone is either an internet meme or has a sex tape. That’s just like in 2015, folks.

PS- After multiple viewings, I think this is my favorite part of the video:

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It has been an especially rough season for Knicks fans, so in times like this, it is best that we remember the happier moments. And while the surplus of dick punches and lack of championships has left the memory pool kind of shallow, this was an all-time great highlight for Knicks fans (and every NBA fan that isn’t a Lakers fan).

Kobe at his peak of arrogance just getting punked on national TV by a relatively bummy point guard. I remember hating the Chris Childs contract the minute the ink hit the paper. But when Childs two-pieced Kobe, he totally redeemed himself. I’m not saying Childs should have his number retired for the punches, but if the Knicks ever make a Ring of Honor, they can at least think about honoring the punches there.

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Denver Post- Sixteen years in the NBA can be a blur, Al Harrington can attest to that. He lived it.  On Wednesday, he recounted near two-decades worth of just sheer fun, allowing the words that put an end to things kick off the conversation.  He sat courtside at the Toyota Center after helping out during a Nuggets practice, and finally said it.  “I’m officially retired,” Harrington said. “I don’t know if there’s paperwork that I gotta fill out or anything. But my career is over.”

 

Congrats to Al Harrington, who was a solid, if not unspectacular player during his time in the NBA.  He was USA Today’s National Player of the Year during his senior year in high school before being drafted by the Pacers in 1998.  He was one of those band-aid type players that the Knicks seemed to run through during the 2000s.  But that Vine is the best Gus Johnson call I have ever heard during his days announcing in the NBA.  He has countless better calls during college basketball games, but as for the NBA, there is none better.

But seeing how today kicks off March Madness, I was all ready to link to the Gus Johnson soundboard.  But to my chagrin, it seems like the Soundboard has been killed.  I don’t know how the creator didn’t start a GoFundMe to raise enough money to keep the site running, but it is a damn shame.  We have had a chick raise money so she can get stuffed in Las Vegas and a dude raise money so he can see if his chick is getting stuffed on Spring Break.  How the creator of the soundboard never asked for a few bucks to keep a piece of internet gold alive is beyond me.

So in the absence of said Gus Johnson soundboard, here are some of Gus’ best calls via YouTube.  Happy March Madness, everybody!!!

 

 

P.S. I stumbled upon this Al Harrington ad while searching for a picture for the blog. Gus Johnson just causally making people money with his awesome calls.  He is a national treasure.  And God bless you if you would buy a razor for your head because it is endorsed by Al Harrington holding a bunch of them in a bucket.  That seems like a surefire way to scalp yourself to me.

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Wwith today kicking off March Madness, I figured I would ask this question.  Which announcer do you like more, Gus Johnson or Bill Raftery?  Obviously one is play-by-play and the other is color commentary.  Bill Raftery is like your fun old grandpa, telling stories and just acting wacky.  While Gus is your crazy friend that gets so hyped that you get hyped while also laughing at him.  Real tough one here.  Who do you like more, Bill Raftery or Gus Johnson? (below are some videos and a poll to vote on this impossible goddamn question).

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P.S. I just found this video of Raftery and Johnson songifying the Big East.  And it is as awesome as you would imagine.