Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

Last Forever Part One

***Spoilers follow if you didn’t watch the finale for How I Met Your Mother (Duh)***

Original Ending:

Alternate Ending:

How do you end a fun, light-hearted show that had you root for the underdog main character, despite his annoying tendencies?  Kill his wife of course!  I hated the living shit out of the original ending after I saw it and now refuse to watch old episodes of the show because of it.  In the words of Mike Franecsa “what an uttah, uttah disastuh”.

That being said, the alternate ending was basically perfect.  It recapped some of the fun moments from the earlier seasons and made you feel like Ted Evelyn Mosby went through all that crap for a reason.  And when the credits come on for one last time, you are smiling as you reminisce about all the fun times you spent with those characters instead of wondering why you just wasted 9 years of your life following a show that would end so grimly.

Finally, am I crazy to think that the alternate ending was one of the best endings of all-time?  Like I said earlier, it wraps up some of the best moments into one little package and leaves you smiling.  That is more than you can say for a lot of other sitcoms.

 

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After a week of great news and uplifting stories, I figured the only place scarier than the sports world is the world in George R.R. Martin’s twisted mind.  So here is my list of sports leagues and the Houses of Westeros that they represent.

***Spoilers ahead if you are not caught up on Game of Thrones*** (more…)

Remember how people used to always say Matthew McConaughey wasn’t a great actor because he basically just played himself in his movies?  Well it looks like Matty boy is typecasting himself yet again.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved True Detective and the countless Reddit theories that it created.  And if Peter Dinklage dressed up as Tyrion Lannister with a fresh pair of Nikes, I would be waiting outside of a Foot Locker right now  Hell, I even tossed around the idea of becoming a meth head just because I respected Walter White’s hustle that much.

But despite one of the greatest years in acting history, McConaughey (I have to look up how to spell it every time) should probably create some fresh characters for his Lincoln commercials.  Just hearing his voice or seeing him will perk up the undercarriage of any respectable American consumer.  No need to bring back our favorite characters for capitalistic gains, right?  (Thinking…).  Well I guess it got people talking about the commercial, so jokes on me I guess.  Keep doing you, Matt.  Keep doing you.

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TV Guide- Could a Full House return be in the works? The family sitcom, which aired on ABC from 1987 to 1995, is still a ratings juggernaut via repeats on Nick at Nite. Now Warner Bros. TV is mulling a new take on Full House, with some of the original cast intact.

Leading the charge is John Stamos (Uncle Jesse) — who has an ownership stake in the show, which gives him good reason to champion the new series. Original executive producer Bob Boyett and creator Jeff Franklin (who’s writing the new version) are actively involved. Candace Cameron Bure (D.J.), Jodie Sweetin (Stephanie) and Andrea Barber (Kimmy) are on board, while Bob Saget (Danny) and Dave Coulier (Joey) are also involved in some way.

The cast has remained tight-knit and some of the actors have let it slip in the past that they’d like to see Full House return. Stamos, Coulier and Saget appeared in a yogurt commercial earlier this year, and also showed up on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon dressed as their Full House characters. Appearing on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live this past winter, Stamos hinted that a Full House revisit was being pondered: “We’re sort of working on a twist on a sequel,” he told host Andy Cohen. “But we don’t know if it’s going to happen yet or not.” In 2009, Stamos also told the press that a Full House movie had been developed. 

HAVE MERCY!  There is no way they could screw this up, right?  (Thinking…).  OK, there is a 95% chance they will screw this up.  But sometimes in life you have to take a chance with your heart.

It sounds like Uncle Jesse is a lock to come back.  Stamos has equity in the show being made and somehow looks even better than he did in his physical prime.  The Olsen twins are definitely available, but are also above the WB channel (in their twisted, drug fueled minds that is).  Bob Saget and Dave Coulier could surely use the money and cache.

Stephanie was addicted to meth, right?  So I’m guessing she is looking for work now that her time as Wendy from Breaking Bad is over with.  D.J.?  Can’t imagine she’s busy, unless she is pushing her brother’s cult church.  And of course we need the woman who put millions of kids through puberty, Aunt Becky AKA Mrs. Lori God Damn Loughlin.

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As for the supporting characters, I hope, hope, hope that D.J.’s boyfriend Steve died in an incredibly painful fashion and won’t be on the show.  Steve was the worst TV boyfriend in the world this side of Jeff from Saved By The Bell.

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Kimmy Gibbler, sorry toots but you are out.  Kimmy sucked back then and she sucks now.  Plus I bet she already had a failed show on The WB.

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We need Teddy to come back into our lives.  I’m 95% sure John Legend is really Teddy all growed up.

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Update: Gia didn’t make the original post, but I was called out by Saint Brendan of KFCRadio fame.  I was, still, and will forever be afraid of Gia.  The baddest bitch in the Bay Area makes me feel like Derek “The Yankee Doodle” nerd.

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via Movoto

Basically if your state is not light blue or light red, you are surrounded by ignoramuses.  And yes, I understand that most people watch Game of Thrones and Fargo without pirating it.  But that’s not the point here.  If you are going through the effort of illegally downloading TV shows, it better be for something decent.  A few other thoughts.

1. Can we annex the green states to China in exchange for a few dollars off of our crushing debt?  Watching “The Big Bang Theory” is terrible enough.  But spending your time and bandwidth to download that show is almost criminal (well I guess it is definitely criminal, if you think about it).

2. New York should probably be stripped of it’s title as the capital of media (and capital of the world if we are being honest).  Torrenting Beauty and the Beast is just an abject disaster that there is no excuse for.  I would rather have a Tyler Perry show be listed there instead of CW’s production of the tale as old as time.

3. I have never heard of Orphan Black, but if West Virginia is the only state that torrents that show, there is NO way I am ever going to watch it.  It probably makes Deliverance look like a Disney movie.

4. I also don’t know a damn thing about Awkward or Penny Dreadful.  But not having the same TV tastes as the residents of Florida, Texas, and Maine is something I am actually proud of.

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1. I can’t lie, I figured the Asian heavy populations of California and New York would hammer the Godzilla downloads.  Then again, I imagine most Germans avoided watching Inglorious Basterds for similar reasons.

2. If Texas didn’t have Lone Survivor as their movie, this entire map would be a fraud.  Same with Cuban Fury for Florida.  Right in their respective wheelhouses.

3. Alaska’s movie is about a Texas Cowboy who acquires and fights against AIDS.  I give up.

So the people at Teens React did another one of their specials where these kids cackle at our cherished memories.  A few thoughts:

1. Arya Stark brought the 100 MPH heat rocking that backwards hat a la Ken Griffey Jr.  I don’t think The Kid ever had pencils on his lid, though.  Those are pencils, right?  I am probably giving my age away by asking that question.  I’d be sniffed out as a Narc by this group in about 10 seconds.

2. Kelly Kapowski passes the test of time.  Not a shock by any means, but just one of those “nice to know” kind of things.  Growing up with her on TV every week during puberty is what it must have been like for Yankees fans to watch Babe Ruth in his prime.  A mix of joy and amazement.

3.  The caffeine pill episode has gone from unintentionally funny in the 90s to a serious matter in the 2010s.  I’m not sure what that says about us as a country, but it can’t be good, right?

4.  The stereotypes in Saved By The Bell were indeed the best part of the show.  The writer who named the nerdy kid Mr. Poindexter was probably given a standing ovation in the writer’s room.  And guess what, Arya?  Surfers are dumb.  You know how I know that?  Because Hollywood tells me so.  Stop trying to stir the pot all the time.

5.  Arya would have put Needle through Zack’s heart before he could have batted an eyelash.  Dude reeked of Lannister gold.

Chattrisse-Dolabaille-Isaak-Smith-Aaliyah-Lifetime-castings-618x400The Wrap- You can’t have a movie about Aaliyah without her musical mentors. A network representative told TheWrap that Lifetime’s Aaliyah biopic has cast Chattrisse Dolabaille and Izaak Smith as producer-rappers Missy Elliott and Timbaland, respectively. Dolabaille is a newcomer to Hollywood. She’s a Canadian actress, singer and dancer.

Izaak Smith, on the other hand, was a contender on “So You Think You Can Dance Canada.” He has appeared in “Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief” and “Mirror Mirror” as a dancer. He also played Cal Rice on popular Canadian series, “Tower Prep,” and Danny on digital series “Totally Amp’d.” 

Were Timbaland and Missy the casting directors for this movie?  The girl playing Missy Elliott looks closer to Aaliyah than Misdemeanor.  And Timbaland?  Good try my dude.  But this Izaak guy is a legit dreamboat.  He doesn’t drink quarter water out of gallon jugs.  Timbo and Missy may be geniuses in the rap game, but they aren’t exactly dimes in the looks department.  Just another day in the life of an internet watchdog.

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OK, I am not sure if I “fixed” the Timbaland actor, but I got us a little closer to reality.  Missy is still wayyyy off, though.

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