Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Final Rating: 9.2/10. Wow. That’s all I can really say after eating these Chocolate Covered Twinkies. They were much better than I was ready for them to be. The best way I can compare how good they are is by referencing the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Twinkies are like Wes. A name everybody knows about when discussing desserts/The Challenge. But they are truly nothing special in the grand scheme of things. But the season where Wes was on steroids and destroyed the competition? That is what Twinkies dipped in chocolate tastes like. Contenders for the title. Is that a bold statement? Yes. But I wholeheartedly stand by it. Chocolate Covered Twinkies = Wes From MTV: The Challenge. Where else can you get analysis like that?

P.S. This review was done outside while having a picnic on a blanket. Try and be more wholesomely American than eating Twinkies during a picnic. You can’t.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

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Final Rating: 8.9/10.  Unlike some of the reviews I have done in the past, this actually tastes like the food it is imitating.  French toast rules and French Toast Crunch tastes like French toast.  I missed French Toast Crunch the first time it made its rounds in grocery stores, but I’m happy I didn’t miss the encore performance.  The geniuses at Cinnamon Toast Crunch have done it again!

In related news, I have been eating a lot of cereal for lunch lately.  Nothing will make you feel like more of a poor person than eating cold cereal for lunch more than in emergencies (and even in the emergencies, you feel pretty poor).  

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

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After appearing on the podcast a few weeks ago, I rejoined the Put It In The Podcast show to talk about Mets seasons predictions and discuss the recent moves (Lagares contract and actually acquiring living, breathing left-handed pitchers for the bullpen) in this episode. Oh yeah, and things get kind of weird.

Listen to the episode below and check out all episodes of the podcast on iTunes by clicking here. Happy Opening Day to all*!  (*Mets fans only)

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Commuting on the Metro North, LIRR, or New Jersey Transit is a soul-crushing daily occurrence for many of us.  So shout out to the scruffy, semi-thin living Harold Ramis doppelganger for breaking up the monotony of the work week.  And while I hate to admit how uncultured I truly am, how does a monocle stay on one’s face?  Do you clip it to your eyebrow?  Does the monocle somehow smoothly lodge to that bone above your eye?  Or does it take years and years of practice?  And wearing a monocle with a pleather jacket while scurrying in the rat race with the rest of us Metro North peasants is the definition of bougie.

Anyway, the only time it is okay  to wear a monocle in 2015 is if you are dressing up as the Monopoly Guy from Ace Ventura 2 for halloween.  And even then, you should be trying to think of a more culturally relevant costume.

Still one of the best scenes from what was a pretty disappointing movie for a young Clem.  The rhino birth scene was easily the best, btw.

h/t IslesNationBC for the pic

Final Rating: 7.8/10.  I think the review says it all. Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies are a Hall of Fame snack.  Goes in easy and you can binge them in the blink of an eye.  But if you are going to add creme inside, you need to add enough that I can taste it.  Truth be told, a plain Chewy Chip Ahoy is probably a high 8 or a low 9.  My problem is they need to be bigger.  But I digress.

When you start teasing me with frosting talk and I can barely taste the dusting of frosting in the cookie, we are gonna have beef.  Like serious 2Pac/Biggie, somebody’s got to die beef.  So be better Chips Ahoy and get your act together for your next marvelous treat.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

Final Rating: 9.4/10.  Wow.  Just wow.  A puffy, kind of buttery churro. I had the 100 emoji up because I really felt they were a 100/10. But since this was the best food I have reviewed so far, I had to make it fit in the scale of 10. So I deducted 0.6 from Sweetos because sometimes the butter taste is a little strong. But other than that, pure binge junk food perfection.  Hats off, Chester Cheetah.  You done did it again! Get these right meow before they take them off the shelves.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

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NY Post- Matt Harvey unleashed 25 pitches in batting practice on Monday, displaying a curveball he had abandoned in recent years, and focus immediately turned to the Mets’ exhibition home opener on Friday.

The Mets ace is scheduled to take the mound for 35-40 pitches over two innings against the Tigers in what will mark Harvey’s return to competitive action, just over 16 months removed from Tommy John surgery.

 

Oh…my…lanta.  So Matt Harvey was the best pitcher in baseball in 2013 despite barely using his curveball?  That is insane.  I honestly don’t even know what to expect from Harvey this season.  Super-competitive, super-talented, and getting better?  Yikes.  That would be like giving John McClane a bazooka instead of a handgun in Die Hard.

Luckily I have special metrics and a state-of-the-art statistics machine to help me translate what Harvey’s stats will be this season armed with good health and a nasty curveball.

Here are Harvey’s 2013 “Awesome but with an arm injury and not much of a curveball” stats.

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I will now place them into the machine……

 

 

 

BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP (That’s the sound the machine makes as it’s working)

 

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Ladies and gentlemen, here are your 2015 Matt Harvey numbers.

 

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I am kind of surprised at the numbers.  For one, I was thinking that he would have a few saves or holds this season.  He is the Dark Knight and I am sure the Mets will need some saving during the season.  Secondly, K/9 should not be infinity.  It should be 27.00.  But I guess Healthy Matt Harvey With A Curveball broke my revolutionary machine.  Time to go back to the drawing board with Doc Brown.  #jiggawatts