Of Course A Man Caught A Three-Eyed Fish In Brooklyn

Eyewitness News– Video from an Eyewitness News viewer shows what appears to be a three-eyed catfish that was captured in the Gowanus Canal in Brooklyn. Greg Hunter, who shot the video, said a bunch of people crowded around the man who caught it.

“Some lady was flipping out cause he wacked it dead and she said they were trying to preserve the remaining wildlife there or something,” said Hunter in an email. “It was a crazy scene.” According to Hunter, the fisherman who caught it said he was planning to eat it.

 

Ahhh, New York City. The city so nice they have fish growing extra eyes like a character from the goddamn Simpsons. I guess paying a shit ton of rent for a shoebox apartment in a city full of pests doesn’t get you what it used to.  And how about this goddamn guy planning to eat the fish?  Such a New York move.  We are able to put the smelly homeless people and overcrowded trains out of our mind as long as we can get some moments of peace fishing out of the Gowanus Canal and eat some sort of mutant animal with our family.  I ❤ NY.

 

P.S. That better not be one of those googly eyes from arts & crafts class glued to a fish.  That would be the meanest Internet hoax ever.  Killing a fish and gluing a googly eye to it’s head is pure evil.

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Pregnant Tarantula Missing In Brooklyn. Just Kidding It Was Just A Hoax By A Complete Psychopath

NY Daily News-  He was spinning a yarn.  The man who papered his Brooklyn neighborhood with pictures of his missing pet Penelope — an eight-legged tarantula with a red bum and a bellyful of babies — caught everyone in his web of lies. 

The mystery of Penelope — if she was real or a fiendish figment of someone’s imagination — gripped most of Park Slope for two days.  But by Friday night, the prankster behind the hoax — who didn’t return numerous calls to the number on his posters — finally confessed.  “I never expected it to blow up,” he told The New York Times, which reached him by phone.

The man, who declined to give his name, said he’d decided to create the most absurd missing pet poster he could think of as sort of a lark.  His description of Penelope was so over the top, he never expected anyone to think it was real, he told The Times.  But the public fell right into the trap he set with his carefully designed posters featuring Penelope and her eight legs. 

So in case the noise, smells, ridiculous prices, pests, soul-crushing public transportation rides, and constant threat of terrorism wasn’t enough fun for an NYC resident, we have some sick son of a bitch in Brooklyn making up hoaxes about missing a tarantula.  And not just any missing tarantula, but one that could be pregnant with 400 to 1000 eggs.