Posts Tagged ‘cowboys’

The Cowboys have already won the 2014 NFL season.  Do they have a 34 year-old quarterback coming off of back surgery and a defense that resembles Roger Dorn at the hot corner?  Sure.  But that didn’t stop Jerry Jones from hijacking the season before it even started.  While everyone else is pouring ice buckets on each other and raising money for a great cause, Jerry is canoodling with 20 somethings behind his wife’s back and inviting 90s legends to training camp.  Your move, Mr. Mara.  Just realize you will need some combination of Kelly Kapowski, Rod Belding, Chris Calloway, and Ron Dayne to even touch the hot fire that Jerruh is throwing out at Oxnard.

By the way, what a power move by Dennis Haskins going with the @MrBelding Twitter handle.  I bet his family and friends just call him Belding and he stopped fighting it after the 204,274th failed audition.  All Belding, all the time.  As it should be.

PS- There is a 0.0% chance that T.O. knows who Mr. Belding is.  Owens probably thought that he was posing for a picture with Chris Berman so he could get into the good graces of ESPN and get a post football life job.  Sorry Terrell, not gonna happen.  Being a legit asshole for your entire career gets you two things:

1. The cold shoulder from real media outlets

2. Baf reality TV shows

Wl3sMGp

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romo      

For some reason, we never see a negative Tony Romo tweet.  Trying to find a good, disparaging tweet about Tony Romo is like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles the size of Cowboys Stadium.

witten

Anyone who has ever owned or played against Jason Witten in fantasy football knows exactly how accurate that tweet was.

dez

What are the odds Dez Bryant tracked down this tweeter and beat him up?  65%?  80%?

harris

I’m not sure I understand the Dwayne Harris tweet, but it is still a ridiculously hilarious statement.

martin

However, the most accurate tweet was for Zack Martin.  Xbox Ones are awesome to have, but they don’t keep your feet warm and clean.  Just like a new playmaker is fun to have, but O-Linemen make sure your quarterback doesn’t need to have another back surgery.  Sometimes it’s about needs over wants.

weeden

The look Brandon Weeden gives the people behind the camera after he reads his tweet says “this person is 100% correct.  I don’t know why Jerry Jones is paying me, either”.

carr

Brandon Carr attempting to read was as painful as it was funny.  I liked his fake outrage when he left after the third tweet, even though you know he doesn’t care what us peasants have to say about him.  Keep cutting those checks, Jerry!