Posts Tagged ‘daily news’

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I admit this one hurts as a Giants fan, but when you lose to the 1-10 Jaguars, the gloves have to come off.  And if you didn’t read that headline in your head with the voice of the NBA Jam announcer, you did it wrong.  Now we just need the people at the Daily News and the Post to start coming up with Jim Harbaugh puns, because he is absolutely, positively coming here*.

 

 

*PLEASE GOD

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NY Daily News-  An ESPN anchor has filed suit against an upstate hockey arena after a promotional appearance there went bad.

“Listen Closely” host Linda Cohn — a former goalie at SUNY Oswego — was at the Brewster Ice Arena in March to face off against the AHL’s Hartford Wolf Pack when she says she suffered “severe and disabling injuries” in what the team described as a “freak accident.”

The accident took place off ice, when “a heavy, large coin change machine fell upon her,” her Manhattan federal court suit says.

In a post on her Whosay.com page in March, she said “some kids paying in (the) arcade” were responsible” for the crash, which left her with a gash in her arm that required 25 stitches to close.

The Hartford Courant reported at the time that Cohn, 54, was confident she’d be back on the ice quickly.

First of all, I take great offense to the Daily News calling Brewster “upstate”.  As a resident of a nearby town, I don’t get down with the upstate moniker.  Dutchess County is the border for upstate.  Brewster is basically Westchester County, which is the county that Yonkers is in.

Okay, now that the geography lesson is over, let’s talk about Linda Cohn.  How do you get into a situation where a large coin machine can cut you?  Was she trying to get some quarters to try her hand at Ms. Pac-Man?  If so, I can’t blame her.  The rush I get from a good Ms. Pac-Man game is probably the same rush that Danny Ocean got from knocking over Terry Benedict’s casinos.  But that being said, a coin machine is one of the most ludicrous things in the world that can injure you.

And what exactly is a “disabling” injury for a SportsCenter anchor?  You sit behind a desk all day and throw it to clueless ex-players and rambling columnists.  A disabling injury would be growing a brain and realizing you are above the drivel that is ESPN’s flagship show.  Hating on ESPN is cliche now, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun.

However, I will say this.  Linda Cohn is still bringing the HEAT after all these years.  Horseface killah?  Sure.  But she is still as sexy as she ever was, especially with those F ME boots.  Linda Cohn was always kind of an acquired taste.  She had her good days and her bad days.  But to still throw in the mid-80s at the age of 54 is impressive, no matter who you are.

PS- Being a goalie and a sports anchor means Linda Cohn is one of the coolest chicks of all-time, right?  I would rather hang out with her more than some of my guy friends, and that has nothing to do with her ageless body.  I didn’t think I would fall in love with Linda Cohn when I woke up this morning.  But that’s the way love goes (that’s a Janet Jackson line).

h/t Ding

trip10n-4-web

NY Daily News- A woman “tripping balls” on LSD ran naked through an Arkansas city and fought with officers when they tried to restrain her, police in Fayetteville wrote in a startlingly straightforward report.

Incredible dash cam video footage catches Melissa Valencia, 21, streaking nude through a parking lot near South Church Ave. and West Mountain St. in the city in the northwest corner of Arkansas.

“Come here! Stop running!” the officer yells as he approaches the naked woman, who takes off when she sees the approaching police car.

A second car arrives and officers eventually grab the woman, who “ran approximately 75 feet to a pole in the parking lot and appeared to be attempting to hid from me,” an officer wrote in their report, obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Police first responded after a caller “stated (Valencia) was intoxicated on drugs and ‘tripping balls,'” the officer wrote.

A few things to absolutely love about this story.

1. “Tripping balls” is now an industry term in law enforcement.  I hope “balls deep” and “blind drunk” become commonplace, if they haven’t already.

2.  “Tripping balls” has also now made it onto a major newspaper in the biggest media market in the world.  I get excited when someone retweets a tweet/blog post that I wrote.  I can only imagine the pride of the dude who coined the phrase “tripping balls”, likely in the 60s.  Also, that guy is 100% dead by now.

3.  If we are being honest, this chick is a 4.8.  But being 21 and streaking bumps here up to a soft 5.7.  And I’m talking softer than baby poop.

4. If you aren’t doing mind-expanding drugs in Arkansas, then what the hell can you really be doing?  The people not doing LSD or cow tipping should be the ones who are arrested.