Posts Tagged ‘espn’

I watched that video three times trying to figure out what the hell Jeremy Fowler meant by the Browns having rubber duckies at quarterback, and it still doesn’t make sense.  But regardless, Fowler seemed proud as a peacock about that analogy.  However, a tip from Twitter telling me that maybe Fowler was referring to the Urban Dictionary definition of a rubber ducky.

duck

As it turns out, the Browns HAVE had rubber duckies at quarterback for years.  Great job by Jeremy Fowler and the Worldwide Leader for finally getting weird like the rest of us.

 

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http://player.theplatform.com/p/BxmELC/gc_embedplayer/select/cN2U3LEUn_i_?&parentUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.golfchannel.com%2Fmedia%2Ftim-tebow-crushes-driver-343-yards%2F&params=mbr%3Dtrue%26zone%3Dmedia_morningdrive&originalReferrer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.golfchannel.com%2F#playerurl=http%3A//www.golfchannel.com/media/tim-tebow-crushes-driver-343-yards/

via Golf Digest

 

Tim Tebow is such a stud. How are we letting America’s National Treasure go to waste on college football broadcasts and random oddball appearances for golf magazines? I mean guess I understand why no NFL team gives him a shot.  If you sign him as a backup, all the Tebow Truthers go crazy until he becomes the starter.  And ESPN covers the teams every goddamn move just because of his name.

But can we get this guy work doing something other than hammering long drives on a golf simulator?  If the U.S. government came to Tebow and offered to make him a real life Captain America, could he possibly say no?  I know there is no other person in the world that I would want as a superhuman creation defending the stars and stripes than Timothy Richard Tebow.

If he was able to stay a virgin during his time at Florida (a HUGE if), he simply cannot be cracked. And those ISIS assholes would have to think twice about killing innocent people from their sandcastles if Captain Tebow was a real thing.  We can put people on Mars, but making Tim Tebow a real life superhero is a stretch?  Get it done, Obama. What are my taxes paying for anyway?

 

h/t Ballow for the link

http://player.espn.com/player.js?playerBrandingId=4ef8000cbaf34c1687a7d9a26fe0e89e&adSetCode=91cDU6NuXTGKz3OdjOxFdAgJVtQcKJnI&pcode=1kNG061cgaoolOncv54OAO1ceO-I&width=576&height=324&externalId=espn:12383260&thruParam_espn-uiautoPlay=false&thruParam_espn-uiplayRelatedExternally=true

 

Wow wow wow wow wow. The music, the intense Harvey stare, the promise of weather above 10 degrees. This video has it all. I am laying next to a pile of “happy tissues” at my house after watching that. And the best part about all of it is that Harvey Day will be back in our lives once every five days. Glorious. Simply glorious.    

https://vine.co/v/O2iQbrIpHBw/embed/postcard

 

P.S. Derek Jeter comes off as such a villain in this trailer. The good-looking, well dressed rich guy with the life that is too good to be true. Similar to Harvey Dent, except Maggie Gylenhaal looks closer to me than she does Hannah Davis.

jete

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That chart is just stupid. That is a phenomenal GAME, let alone a quarter. I will go to my grave saying that there is no better feeling than being on fire in basketball. Sure people will bring up a billion other things that can compare (sexual or otherwise). But when you are just feeling it and swish that heat-check shot, which usually will lead to a dumb, giddy laugh. The hoop looks like it’s the size of the Atlantic Ocean and you can hit a shot from wherever you want. That was Klay Thompson in an NBA game. It makes me want to lace’em up and keep shooting til I get that feeling back again. Then I take a look at my gut, and say “I’ll just remember the good ol’ days”.  Keep doing you, Klay. Keep doing you.

And now a hearty tribute to the man who owned the NBA tonight, from my favorite movie villain ever:

https://vine.co/v/OI9rAYvzP6K/embed/postcard//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js

When I closed my eyes, I could have sworn that Christopher Wallace was spitting hot fire again.  Nope, just a 70+ year old Cuban immigrant on a sparsely watched ESPN show.  However, I can’t lie, I was pretty disappointed when I realized Papi wasn’t going to rap any Bone Thugs lines.  I have listened to “Notorious Thugs” roughly 10,000 times and I still just grunt noises whenever the Bone Thugs parts come on.  Being disappointed that Dan Le Batard’s dad didn’t break down the lyrics to a timeless hip hop classic is #WhitePeopleProblems like you read about.

Say what you want about Michael Kay, but he is an annoying moron that isn’t even a pimple on Mike Francesa’s fanny. Kay can tell you how many gray hairs Derek Jeter has on his face, but he can’t recognize the voice of the guy who hands him his lunch every day in the ratings? What an uttuh, uttuh disastuh *handwave*.  You come at Numbah One, you best not miss.

Your “soon to be” new ESPN.com 😦
ESPN-peek

New and Old Mobile Design

ESPN-combo-mobile-481x640

Apparently someone at ESPN has a fever and the only prescription is more white space.  And Heaven to Betsy is it ugly.  It’s like they are opening the current ESPN.com site in Safe Mode.  ESPN pulled a similar stunt with Scorecenter SportsCenter, which may have (or definitely) lead to me using Yahoo Sports as my scores app.

So instead of having to use the abortion of a site above, I have decided to slightly modify the current page.  More scores, more fantasy and more stories relating to actual sports (the sports that people care about, that is).  Meanwhile there will be less X Games (as in none), less espnW (as in none), and less repetitive bullshit (as in 90% of what ESPN does when a big story breaks).

*Click to enlarge unless you want your eyes to explode from squinting.screencapture-espn-go-com

TL;DR. The ESPN.com redesign looks great…