Posts Tagged ‘iPhone’

***WARNING, SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED SEASONS 1-4***

(Original video for reference)

I am not sure how many people have seen the video or played Dumb Ways To Die on their phone, but I know it had like 100 billion downloads a few years ago.  The game was always a fun way to pass a couple of minutes while getting that goddamn awesome hook stuck in your head.  But whoever took that song and animated the biggest Game of Thrones deaths over it is a genius.  I thought I was hyped for tomorrow night’s premiere until I saw Khaleesi’s dickhead brother get a liquid golden crown and Joffrey die all over again.  Now I am fucking STOKED. If the trade-off is that I have to hear that song in my head until 9 PM tonight, so be it.  And sure, maybe Theon isn’t technically “dead”, but if your dick gets cut off by a raving lunatic and you now think that you are a dog, you certainly cannot be considered “alive”.

However, not all of the video was fun to watch.  #RIP to basically every Stark I ever loved except for Arya.  I flat out refuse to rewatch the Red Wedding and I turn away from the TV in the beginning of the next episode when Robb’s dead body has his dead direwolf’s head stapled on.  I need Arya’s body count to reach triple digits by the end of this season so I can feel like Ned and Robb’s deaths were properly avenged (probably not going to happen).

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Anyway, here are a few more videos to whet your appetite for tonight’s premiere.

If the video above wasn’t bloody enough for you, here is every death from seasons 1-4:

Season 5 previews:

Compilation of the best Red Wedding reactions:

Arya’s reaction to the Red Wedding:

Compilation of the best reactions to Oberyn Martell getting his head popped the fuck off:

Uncut long shot from last season’s battle on The Wall:

Giants shooting giant bow and arrows:

And of course, the best show/opening sequence in TV history.  I just have this song playing on loop in my house right now.  In my defense, I am not what you would call a “cool person”.

PS- “Dumb ways to die.  So many dumb ways to die.  Dumb ways to diiiiiie.  So many dumb ways to die”.  Sorry, but you know it’s still stuck in your head.

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So this “ad” has been making its rounds on the internet the last few days and it has been reported that many people actually threw their phone in the microwave like a bunch of lemmings.  Please do not feel bad for these people.  This ad should act as an unofficial IQ test.  If you don’t know that putting your phone in a microwave will ruin it, you do not deserve an iPhone.  You have to stick to landlines and pay phones.

TL; DR- If you put your phone in a microwave, you should probably stick your head in the same microwave right after it is done.

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A big, hearty fuck you to the people who created this.  I am sure part of the reason they made the Selfie Brush was to get a rise out of old-school squares like myself.  Well, mission accomplished.  Because the word selfie and everything it stands for grinds the living shit out of my gears.  Apparently the iPhone 6 will not fit in the brush, so score on for the good guys.  I hope that there is a defect that leads to a ton of broken screens across America.

P.S. The last time I saw something this ridiculous was when the Shake Weight was announced.  And they went on to sell about a billion* of those handjob practice machines.  So while I may hate the idea of the Selfie Brush, I love the idea of being a millionaire.  So hats off to the inventors on likely getting rich beyond my wildest dreams.  And may Satan take no mercy on you for what you have brought into this world.

*All numbers estimated.