Posts Tagged ‘new york giants’

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As I watch Odell Beckham get hundreds/thousands of favs and retweets every time he tweets ANYTHING, it makes me happy and sad.  Happy that my favorite NFL player has developed a huge following on social media.  And sad because I will never have that type of love from the social media masses despite basically living my entire life on Twitter these days.  So I did a little experiment.  I waited until ODB tweeted something out and then copied/pasted his tweet as my own.  The results are above.  Almost 1400 retweets and 1400 favs for Beckham against my 1 retweet and 5 favs.  Odell just took me to Pound Town.

But in the words of everybody’s favorite mascot head wearer (Lee Corso), “NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND!”.  As of the writing of this blog, Odell Beckham has 404,000 followers (Twitter lists it as 404K to estimate because that is A LOT OF GOD DAMN PEOPLE.  I am jealous of everyone that has a K in their follower count).  I have 3,060 followers (and I love literally each and every one of them.  Especially the bots and Twitter Instagram hoes that just look for follow backs).  So by my math:

1 in every 290 of ODB’s followers retweeted his tweet, while 1 in every 295 of his followers favorited his tweet.

1 in every 3,060 of my followers retweeted my tweet, while 1 in every 612 of my followers favorited my tweet.

Looks like I lost again….

But wait!!!

lee-corso1

 

Odell Beckham tweeted out his tweet 39 seconds before I did.  So I still have time to make up the difference.

 

Who Tweeted It Better Verdict: Too close to call

 

 

The game is over and the parade route has been cleaned up.  All that was left was for someone to drop the African Super Bowl loser t-shirt joke.  Whether you hate the Patriots, their fans, or both, you have to admit that seeing (and listening to) the Seahawks win another Super Bowl was going to be brutal.  Richard Sherman saying he’s the best cornerback ever, Doug Baldwin chirping about how no one respects them enough, and those phony die-hard 12s telling everyone they are the best fans on Earth.

So it was nice to see Prince Amukamara, Akeem from Coming To America himself, drop the joke on the Seahawks grave.  And I’m sure Seattle fans will say an above-average cornerback whose team didn’t make the playoffs shouldn’t talk.  But when that above-average cornerback is on the only franchise to solve the Brady-Belichick combo in the Super Bowl and he knows his team will win about the next 5 Super Bowls with the best receiver in the universe on his team, I think Prince can yap all he wants.

 

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I think everyone across the country was confused as hell when Morgan Burnett slid after what appeared what could have been a game-clinching interception.  I thought “well, I guess there was a full crew of Seahawks ready to rip the ball out of Burnett’s hands, so he slid”.  But that was apparently NOT the case.  Usually it’s a defensive back taking the ball out of the endzone and going down at the two yard-line like a God damn knucklehead.  So Burnett’s heart was in the right place, unfortunately his body wasn’t.

Sure Burnett sliding is only reason number 348,291 why the Packers lost that game.  McCarthy got conservative, they acted like there was no chance in hell a team would fake a field goal when it would be the spark they would need, and the Packers took the ball out of their best players’ hands (Rodgers and Lacy).  But look on the bright side Packers fans.  Actually there is no bright side.  That was an absolutely brutal way to lose.  Maybe your coach will grow a spine by next season.  But by that point, Odell Beckham Jr. will fully form into the evolutionary Jerry Rice, turning the other 31 NFL team to ash along the way.  But at least the Packers are fun to play with in Madden.  Chin up, cheeseheads!

 

Well that was a lovely journey down memory lane, huh?  ODB is so good, he can make you forget how sick you are of hearing that song for the last three years.  But seriously, those were the highlights of his rookie season after he missed training camp and 4 games with a hamstring injury. What is he going to do with a year of NFL experience under his belt and improved chemistry with Eli/Ben McAdoo?  I guess the question I am getting at is “Can Odell Beckham Jr. break a million yards receiving next year”?  And the answer just may be “definitely, without a doubt, yes”.

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#NailedIt

 

h/t Pops for the pic

 

 

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Yahoo- “One of the biggest things I do, and I’ve done it my whole career … in college and high school … when I get into the facility, I’ll get in the hot tub, shower and then go to my locker and just sit in my jockstrap,” Pollard said, after making sure it was OK to tell the truth to the assembled crowd. “In Baltimore, all the guys would time me, on how long I was naked or in a jock. I think it got up to 38 minutes one time. I’m a nudist.”

While Bernard’s definition of a nudist is different than most, I have to admit that the headline was pretty funny.  Because the guy who in different years has ended the seasons of Tom Brady, Wes Welker, Stevan Ridley, and basically Rob Gronkowski should be a badass super villain that looks and acts like J.J. Watt or Terrell Suggs.  Instead, he loves to sit naked in the middle of crowded locker rooms filled with dudes.

The other guy that ends Patriots seasons on a regular basis is a guy that isn’t even the best quarterback in his family and is routinely mocked for being goofy and stupid.  So despite all of the success the Patriots have had, these two nitwits have been responsible for costing the Patriots likely three more rings.  And if I was a Pats fan, it would drive me BONKERS.

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I admit this one hurts as a Giants fan, but when you lose to the 1-10 Jaguars, the gloves have to come off.  And if you didn’t read that headline in your head with the voice of the NBA Jam announcer, you did it wrong.  Now we just need the people at the Daily News and the Post to start coming up with Jim Harbaugh puns, because he is absolutely, positively coming here*.

 

 

*PLEASE GOD

From Beckham’s Wikipedia page:

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In case you live under a rock, and that rock blocks all cellular/WiFi signals, Odell Beckham Jr. made the 2nd best catch in NFL (and oddly enough New York Giants) history.  People will forget who won a Week 12 game between the Giants and the Cowboys.  But no one will ever forget that catch.  So in my mind, the Giants won the game.  Better luck next time, Cowgirls.

Anyway, Twitter and reddit did what they usually do, create funny content.  Here are the 13 (that’s his number and everything!) best Odell Beckham tweets/Photoshops that I saw last night:

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So Larry Donnell AKA The Black Voltron shouted out this reddit thread for trying to come up with a nickname for the (soon to be) greatest tight end of all-time.  I am not here to disparage anyone, but the nickname The Don would be the most basic nickname in NFL history.  The evolutionary Black Unicorn + Megatron-esque matchup nightmare  = The Black Voltron.  It is really that simple.

So what I need everyone to do is to go to that reddit thread, Donnell’s Twitter feed, and/or Donnell’s Instagram page to let him know that you want his nickname to be Black Voltron.  If not for me, then for the criminally underrated 80s cartoon and toys that we all knew and loved.  #BlackVoltron has formed.

P.S. The Voltron song was absolute FIRE.  The first rapper to make a good song with that beat wins the rap game forever.

For more unabashed Black Voltron slurping, follow me on Twitter @TheClemReport

Ron-Burgundy-Erection 11.34.27 AM

NFL.com-  A stirring win over the Philadelphia Eagles won’t stop the long-term questions about the San Francisco 49ers’ leadership. NFL Media’s Deion Sanders said on Sunday’s NFL GameDay Highlights that there is significant strain between coach Jim Harbaugh and his players.

They want him out. They’re not on the same page,” Sanders said. “I really want to know if they’re really playing for the head coach. I got a question with that. Are you really down with your head coach, San Francisco 49ers? Because the way it looks and what I’m hearing, you’re really not down for your head coach. And that’s a problem.

“They really got some problems that we hear rumblings. We all know people inside locker rooms.” 

Where there is smoke, there is fire.  And when Prime Time is chirping about your locker room after a win during NFL GameDay Highlights, that means that there is a 4 alarm blaze potentially on the horizon.  Now I have been trying to will Jim Harbaugh to the Giants or Michigan for months.

But considering I did the same thing when I willed Larry Donnell from an unheralded tight end into the best player in football, can you truly doubt my newfound powers?

Am I saying that Jim Harbaugh will definitely be the coach after the Giants go 14-2 and Tom Coughlin goes out on top like John Elway?  No.  But I am saying that I may have magical Twitter powers that will lead to Jim Harbaugh becoming the next Giants coach in less than 18 months. And he will probably be coaching Ndamukong Suh.

P.S.- I cannot WAIT for Harbaugh to do the triple slobber victory wipe while wearing Giants blue.  It will be like the modern day Red Auerbach victory cigar.

For more New York Giants soothsaying, follow me on Twitter @TheClemReport