Posts Tagged ‘oreo’

Final Rating: 7.2/10. If you are going to say something tastes like a s’more, it sure as hell better taste like a s’more. And that cookie did not taste like a s’more. S’mores are as American as apple pie, so try to avoid spitting on the Constitution next time your flavor scientist nerds are making flavors in their lab, Oreo. And I will use that line from The Sandlot every single time I taste a disappointing s’mores product. Because The Sandlot is simply classic American cinema.

And finally, continuing with the “America” theme, ripping open that resealable packaging with one hand in the epitome of “American brawn”. I could probably be a G.I. Joe character if they still made those cartoons today.

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

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Final Rating: 6.4/10.  This tastes nothing like an Oreo.  It’s just vanilla and chocolate pudding in a cup.  While I don’t hate that combination, you don’t lead people to believe that you are going to have that glorious taste of Oreo creme in the pudding cup.  The Oreo cookie (especially the creme part) is an American treasure.  Don’t you dare disgrace it, Jell-O.  Straight up communist shit right there.

Bill Cosby Impersonation Rating: 3/10.  I have learned that the camera adds (at least) 15 pounds and completely ruins all of my celebrity impressions.  Though to be fair, I don’t think I have ever tried to impersonate Bill Cosby until this video.  Big mistake.  Anyway, here is a Bill Cosby Gelatin Pop commercial that comes across much differently now than it did back then.  What exactly WAS he doing with his other hand during filming?  I don’t think we want to know.

 

To view the rest of my 15-second food reviews, simply click the word Playlist at the top of the video below and choose a review.

 

Emergency food review: Oreo Mega Stuf cookie. #food #review #foodreview #oreo #cookies #clemfoodreport

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When the F did Oreo release Mega Stuf?  Being a veteran of the junk food game, I know once companies start selling food in small packages, that means they have been out for a little while.  How did I miss one of the biggest moments of the 21st century?  Shamful.  That was the reason for this emergency food review.  A few other thoughts:

1. I have asked for Triple Stuf Oreos ever since the first time I laid my eyes (and tongue) on Double Stufs.  These cookies should be named Triple Stuf, not Mega Stuf.  That is because…

2. Mega Stuf should be one obnoxiously big cookie with so much creme, the surgeon general has to post a warning about diabetes on it.  And when I say “should”, I mean there better be a bunch of cookie scientists literally doing exactly that right now.

3. Did you know that some people like the cookie wafer more than the creme?  Crazy, right?  If the wafer was better, they would sell cookies where you get extra wafers.  Instead they are just stepping up the creme amount to ridiculous heights.  GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

Rating: 9.999/10.  I cannot give it a perfect score because it was not absolutely perfect.  But it was as close to perfection as any mortal cookie could get.  Keep adding more Stuf to your cookies, Oreo, and I will keeping adding more 9’s and decimal places.

oreo

 

The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Oreo Review

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So there you have it folks.  I tip my hat to Nabisco for trying to make a Supercookie that would eliminate all of it’s competitors Godfather style.  But like the Chewy Chips Ahoy Oreo Creme Cookie, there is just not enough frosting to make a real impact on the flavor.  You get a hint of Reese’s when you bite into the cookie, but when I see that giant Peanut Butter cup on the package, I’m expecting to get hit by a Mike Tyson uppercut of flavor.  I appreciate these marriages of two awesome foods, but unless you are going to do it right, stop wasting my time.

Rating: 8.1/10