Posts Tagged ‘Saved By The Bell’

The Cowboys have already won the 2014 NFL season.  Do they have a 34 year-old quarterback coming off of back surgery and a defense that resembles Roger Dorn at the hot corner?  Sure.  But that didn’t stop Jerry Jones from hijacking the season before it even started.  While everyone else is pouring ice buckets on each other and raising money for a great cause, Jerry is canoodling with 20 somethings behind his wife’s back and inviting 90s legends to training camp.  Your move, Mr. Mara.  Just realize you will need some combination of Kelly Kapowski, Rod Belding, Chris Calloway, and Ron Dayne to even touch the hot fire that Jerruh is throwing out at Oxnard.

By the way, what a power move by Dennis Haskins going with the @MrBelding Twitter handle.  I bet his family and friends just call him Belding and he stopped fighting it after the 204,274th failed audition.  All Belding, all the time.  As it should be.

PS- There is a 0.0% chance that T.O. knows who Mr. Belding is.  Owens probably thought that he was posing for a picture with Chris Berman so he could get into the good graces of ESPN and get a post football life job.  Sorry Terrell, not gonna happen.  Being a legit asshole for your entire career gets you two things:

1. The cold shoulder from real media outlets

2. Baf reality TV shows

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So the people at Teens React did another one of their specials where these kids cackle at our cherished memories.  A few thoughts:

1. Arya Stark brought the 100 MPH heat rocking that backwards hat a la Ken Griffey Jr.  I don’t think The Kid ever had pencils on his lid, though.  Those are pencils, right?  I am probably giving my age away by asking that question.  I’d be sniffed out as a Narc by this group in about 10 seconds.

2. Kelly Kapowski passes the test of time.  Not a shock by any means, but just one of those “nice to know” kind of things.  Growing up with her on TV every week during puberty is what it must have been like for Yankees fans to watch Babe Ruth in his prime.  A mix of joy and amazement.

3.  The caffeine pill episode has gone from unintentionally funny in the 90s to a serious matter in the 2010s.  I’m not sure what that says about us as a country, but it can’t be good, right?

4.  The stereotypes in Saved By The Bell were indeed the best part of the show.  The writer who named the nerdy kid Mr. Poindexter was probably given a standing ovation in the writer’s room.  And guess what, Arya?  Surfers are dumb.  You know how I know that?  Because Hollywood tells me so.  Stop trying to stir the pot all the time.

5.  Arya would have put Needle through Zack’s heart before he could have batted an eyelash.  Dude reeked of Lannister gold.

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The Hollywood Reporter- Lifetime has set The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, centered on the off-camera experiences of the six young stars of the 1990s comedy, for a Labor Day premiere.

Premiering Monday, Sept. 1, at 9 p.m. ET/PT, The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story promises to expose the challenges of growing up under the public scrutiny while trying to maintain a squeaky clean image of their characters on- and off-screen.

Cast by Saved by the Bell’s original casting directorRobin Lippin, the television movie stars Dylan Everett (Degrassi: The Next Generation) as Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Sam Kindseth (Shameless) as Dustin DiamondJulian Works (Paranormal Activity) as Mario Lopez, Alyssa Lynch as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Tiera Skovbye (Supernatural) as Elizabeth Berkley and Taylor Russell McKenzie (Blink) as Lark Voorhies.

Looks like someone at Lifetime decided that they wanted win a buttload of Emmys and put this gem together.  I think anyone that grew up with this show would love to know what happened behind the scenes.  Obviously all the sex, drug use, and partying will get the headlines.  But I want to know what was the deal with Max.  I still don’t understand how a bad-joke-telling magician made it onto a show about high schoolers getting into wild and fun situations.  Dude had to have scandalous pics of a bunch of NBC executives.

Kelly Kapowski.  Never Forget.

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PS- Screech and Mr. Belding spoke at my college back in the day.  Screech was the slimiest dude I’ve ever met, while Belding was the god damn man.  Not sure why I felt like sharing that, but F Dustin Diamond.

h/t Carulli for the link

Potentially the only thing better than 90’s TV shows were the theme songs to 90’s TV shows.  So to settle the debate once and for all, we here at The Clem Report have created a bracket for the best 90’s TV theme songs.  Please vote each day as the tournament progresses.  May the best theme win. (more…)