Every season, my fantasy baseball league has a theme for team names. Each year, you rename your team based on that theme. Last year was Seinfeld. And I’m not talking just Seinfeld characters. You could be David Putty or you could be the Urban Sombrero. There was obviously no shortage of incredible options. Because if you ask a group of people what their favorite Seinfeld episode/character/storyline/etc. is, you will get a ton of different answers.
But I kind of went the other way here. Who is your LEAST favorite character? I do actually think there is one clear answer, but I may be wrong. So much on that show was great, especially if the character was a terrible person. So write in your answer below, Google Forms will add everything up and yada yada yada we will have our answer for who the worst Seinfeld character is/was.
NYPost- Now this is some kind of meltdown. One-time Yankees stud farmhand Jesus Montero, whose weight has ballooned since a trade to the Seattle Mariners even as his prospect status has deflated, lost his cool Thursday night and confronted a scout (from his own team!) with a bat — all over an ice cream sandwich.
The incident occurred in Boise, where Montero was on an injury rehab assignment with the Single-A Everett AquaSox. The bizarrely antagonistic scout apparently razzed Montero throughout the game then sent the dairy taunt to him in dugout — guess the vanilla insults weren’t working. According to milb.com, Montero approached the stands wielding a bat and threw the dessert while screaming profanities before he was restrained.
Man I hate the living shit out of Jesus Montero. First I had to hear Yankees fans tell me Montero was going to be better than Mike Piazza. Then he got shipped out to Seattle for Michael Pineda and promptly gained 1,000 pounds. I wanted Montero to become the next Jay Buhner AKA the player Yankees fans bellyached about years after the trade.
And then Jesus went ahead and pulled the ultimate food sin. No matter what someone says to you, you do NOT throw an ice cream sandwich at them. It is the king of the ice cream novelty kingdom (Choco Taco is the crown prince though, don’t get it twisted). Doing something ignorant as that defines the phrase “wasting your food”. I hope all the bad things in life happen to Montero and nobody else but Montero.
Every year the teams in my fantasy baseball league are all named after a certain theme. In years past, the themes have been Simpsons characters, pro wrestlers and TV show names. This year’s theme was anything Seinfeld related. The name could be a character, a saying, or ANYTHING else that existed in the Seinfeld universe. Everyone quickly had a list of about ten team names they had to decide between without having to put any real thought into the matter.
So in honor of this wonderful show, as well as the greatest minor league promotion ever and the new Seinfeld emojis that will be released soon, I have decided to use Seinfeld for my 2014 New York Mets midseason awards blog. Plus, can you really get more New York than if you talk about Seinfeld and baseball? (more…)
Potentially the only thing better than 90’s TV shows were the theme songs to 90’s TV shows. So to settle the debate once and for all, we here at The Clem Report have created a bracket for the best 90’s TV theme songs. Please vote each day as the tournament progresses. May the best theme win. (more…)
ESPN-In honor of the 25th anniversary of the first “Seinfeld” show, the New York Mets‘ Single-A affiliate in Brooklyn will host “Seinfeld Night” in July.
The first 2,500 fans in attendance on July 5 will receive a Keith Hernandez “Magic Loogie” bobblehead, commemorating the episode where Kramer and Newman accused the former Mets first baseman of spitting at them at a game.
Seinfeld famously defended Hernandez by introducing the “Magic Loogie Theory.” The episode was in 1992, but the original pilot, called “Seinfeld Chronicles,” first aired on July 5, 1989.
During the game, the team will become Vandelay Industries Park, named for the latex company George Costanza tells the unemployment office he might work for. The Cyclones say that anyone who can present a legitimate business card that shows they are a latex salesman will get in for free.
Thanks to Newman, mailmen in uniform will throw out the first pitch. Fans will have a chance to take part in an eating contest featuring cereal, Jerry’s favorite food, and there will be a dancing contest where fans will try to dance just like Elaine. To commemorate one of Jerry’s most awkward moments, the Cyclones will wear puffy shirts during batting practice.
This is the most bittersweet news I could EVER imagine. This Seinfeld episode is my favorite episode of all-time, Keith Hernandez is among my favorite humans of all-time, and my fantasy baseball team is named Keith Hernandez with my logo being the exact same pose as this bobblehead. Now usually I could convince myself to drive two hours to the slums of Brooklyn just to get a bobblehead. Hell, I’m the guy who wrote a 1500 word post on the 2014 Mets promotions. FYI, this would be number one with a bullet on that list if it was a Mets giveaway. But I was really hoping to go away to some sort of beach that weekend. I also have to take into account the legit possibility that my wife may divorce me if I choose a bobblehead over a holiday vacation. So I get a bobblehead, but lose half of my possessions. Worth it? I’ll let you know.
So lets put it up to a vote.
PS- Naming the stadium Vandelay Industries Park? Mailmen throwing out the first pitch? A cereal eating contest? And puffy shirts? Someone in the marketing department deserves a god damn raise.
I’ve heard people say great things about the show Veep for a few years now. Add in the fact that they have Buster Bluth on the show, as well as everyone’s old crush Elaine Benes, and I’m surprised I haven’t given it a try yet. But this may be the final straw it takes to reel me in. Sure ol’ Julia has aged a few years, but DAMN. When you are worth a few billion and you still look like that? God Bless. That tat would give anyone ridiculous street cred in The Capitol.
Am I writing this post as I wait on hold with DirecTV to order HBO right now? No comment.