Posts Tagged ‘steroids’

elster

I saw this on /r/NewYorkMets last night and just had to write something about it.  I hear people say that his advanced stats and BABIP were at an all-time high, which signifies some luck.  Plus he played in Texas, which is a bandbox.  But I’m sorry.  If you played with those Rangers teams in the mid-90’s, you were juicing.  It’s literally that black and white.  Instead of cup tests they probably wouldn’t let you leave the locker room unless you had a fresh needle mark in your ass. And I’m not here to judge. Anyone who wouldn’t take something to make them millions of dollars is stupid if you ask me. But lets call a spade a spade.

And while we are talking about the Rangers, look at Juan Gonzalez’s numbers in Texas.  They literally make me laugh out loud as I look at them.  Again, I realize the Rangers played in a hitter’s ballpark.  But said ballpark was still on Earth and adhered to the laws of gravity like every other ballpark.

Capture

Also, Juan Gone was one of the best lazy nicknames of all-time, in that it just took the first parts of his name like A-Rod.  Dammit, Juan Gone was the man.

JUqz8jD

Steroids is a hell of a drug.  

You know how people always say “wouldn’t you take a pill to make you so good at your job you get paid 25 times more than you normally would”?  Well this is just another example of that.  Would you take a pill to become ridiculously jacked, have a chance at a football career, and be a badass character on the greatest show on TV?  I’m leaning towards yes.

Found on Reddit

PS- This picture makes the Barry Bonds before and after comparison look like child’s play.

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PPS- If this is a hoax, I will have my vengeance.  In this life or the next.