I love everything about this video. It calls out the subway for what it really is: One of the worst places on Earth. The only beefs that I have with Johnny T are that his accent is a little extreme and he is a spineless Yankees fan. But his rules were very accurate. Here are a few that Johnny left out:
1. If all the subway cars of a train are full except for one, DO NOT GO IN THAT CAR. Because there is a dead homeless person inside that smells like shit. Actually smells like shit is wrong. They smell like dead homeless person, which is a very unique smell that you will never know (or forget) until you actually smell it.
2. If you are going on the 7 train, you will be swarmed by Asians the same way NYC was swarmed by killer bees in the Wu-Tang Triumph video. Just close your eyes and protect ya neck.
3. Do not ever look a street performer in the eyes. Their lifeless, soulless glance will actually make you think about paying $1 for that absolutely horrific rendition of Jingle Bells. You must put your headphones in and glue your eyes to the floor the second that glorified pan-handler asks for everyone’s attention.
And while Johnny T did a bang up job, we can all agree that nothing beats Kneehigh Park when it comes to learning about life in the city.
<em>h/t <a href=”http://twitter.com/lowballj”>@lowballj</a> for the link</em>